Daily Dispatch

UJBR Blog: Year in Review

This is our first year in the great big blogosphere, and therefore our first UJBR YiR. We had an executive meeting of the BRI crack staff, and decided that the theme of our first ever YiR should be…weird bathroom news. I mean “bathroom” is right there in our name and everything! How weird is that?

Getting right on with it:

In February, Toronto, Ontario, restaurant Mildred’s celebrated Valentines Day by encouraging patrons to have sex in its bathrooms. “Have you given any thought to moving beyond the bedroom?” they asked on thei website. “Check out Mildred’s Sexy Bathrooms throughout the weekend of Big Love. You get the picture.”( We do get the picture—and it ain’t pretty!) Bizarrely, Toronto Public Health said it was alright: “As far as bodily fluids,” said Jim Chan, manager of the food safety program, “it’s pretty much similar to the other human functions going on in there.” (Photo: Rene Johnson, Toronto Star)

Our New Year’s Gift to You: The Origami Ducky

We wanted to get each and every one of you a gift this holiday season. But, since we didn’t have everyone’s addresses, the hard part was figuring out what to get you that we could transported through the internet. So, here is our little thank you for supporting us in 2010 and for the many years before…and after: THE ORIGAMI DUCKY! (First appeared in Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader)
Continue Reading to print out the template.

Miracle on Ice: Where are They Now?

Three days ago the Men’s U.S. Olympic Hockey team got an unexpected win over heavily favored Canada, the first time the Americans have beaten the Canadians in an Olympics since 1960. MSNBC got 8.22 million viewers for the Sunday afternoon broadcast—the second highest total in the network’s history. (Only election night 2008 got more.) Congratulations to the U.S. team, and good luck for the rest of the tournament to both the U.S. and Canada.

The game came just a day short of the 30th anniversary of what is arguably the biggest moment in U.S. sports history, the “Miracle on Ice” that saw the Americans beat the Russians, winner of the gold in the four previous Olympics, on their own way to winning gold at the 1980 games in Lake Placid, New York. In Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges into Minnesota (2006), we covered the “Miracle on Ice” story—and looked into where some of the players and coaches are today. Here’s an excerpt (with updates!)

The Aussie Loo

Greetings, Bathroom Reader fans around the world. BRI Thom here, reporting from the field, which, barring deportation or a fatal shark attack, I shall be doing so henceforth. I’ve flown the bathroom-reading headquarters coop in our sleepy little Oregon hamlet, and am currently reporting from a picnic bench a few yards from the South Pacific Ocean just north of Sydney, Australia—one block or some from my new home. Leaving Uncle John and the crack staff at the BRI was heartbreaking…until I got here. (I mean come on! I practically live on a tropical beach, for goodness’ sake!)

Fortunately Uncle John forgot to change the locks here, and I’ll still be posting on the UJ Blog!

My first exclusive: The Aussie Loo, and how it corresponds almost exactly to Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. Just take a look at this beauty:

The Pearl Harbor Spy

Today, December 7, 2010, is the 69th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. (69th?! Wow!) In our very latest—and many are already saying the greatest, thank you very much—work, Uncle John’s HEAVY DUTY Bathroom Reader, we tell the story of the single Japanese spy who made the entire attack possible. Here’s an excerpt:

DUSTBIN OF HISTORY:
THE PEARL HARBOR SPY
The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, remains
one of the most infamous events in U.S. history. Yet the spy who
played a key role in the sneak attack is a forgotten man,
unknown even to many World War II buffs.

Under Cover
On March 27, 1941, a 27-year-old junior diplomat named Tadashi Morimura arrived in Honolulu to take his post as vice-consul at the Japanese consulate. But that was just a cover—“Morimura” was really Takeo Yoshikawa, a Japanese Imperial Navy Intelligence officer. His real mission: to collect information about the American military installations in and around Pearl Harbor.

Law & Order: The Knucklehead Files

This is a news item about two separate, yet equally important groups: The police who investigate crime, and the District Attorneys who get sent text messages by drug dealers. (Dong dong!)

Police say an Indiana man was arrested after mistakenly sending text messages to a prosecutor about drugs he was trying to sell.

Doorknob as Fish-Eye Lens Into Other Room

Oh, this is such a good idea, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it ourselves!

In conjunction with Design Tide Tokyo, architect Hideyuki Nakayama – a protégé of Toyo Ito –　has teamed up with UNION, a manufacturer of door handles and levers, to create a glass globe doorknob. As you approach the doorknob you catch a glimpse of what appears to be another world, waiting for you to enter and join, but in fact is a reflection of the room on the other side of the door.

RIP: Leslie Nielsen

The funny man from the Northwest Territories has gone to that great Airplane in the sky.

“LOS ANGELES – Leslie Nielsen, who traded in his dramatic persona for inspired bumbling as a hapless doctor in “Airplane!” and the accident-prone detective Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun” comedies, died on Sunday in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. He was 84.

The Canadian-born actor died from complications from pneumonia at a hospital near his home at 5:34 p.m., surrounded by his wife, Barbaree, and friends, his agent John S. Kelly said in a statement.”

A moment from Lieutenant Frank Drebin:

When in China, Do as the Romans Do

Truly fascinating story about a legendary lost Roman army legion—and their possible descendants in remote China:

“Tests found that the DNA of some villagers in Liqian, on the fringes of the Gobi Desert in north-western China, was 56 per cent Caucasian in origin.”

It’s World Toilet Day

Everyone please take a moment to walk down the hall, open the door to the WC, have a look at that old, taken-for-granted commode, and say, “Thank you, toilet. You’ve been very good to me. So thank you, thank you, thank you.” Everyone, right?

On a more serious note, today is World Toilet Day, brought to us by the World Toilet Organization:

World Toilet Day is celebrated on November 19 of every year. The World Toilet Organization is the main driver for this global event. WTO, a global non-profit organization committed to improving toilet and sanitation conditions worldwide.

Surfing Killer Whales! [Updated]

It’s becoming more common to call them orcas rather than killer whales, but it makes the title of this story so much more exciting:

But when a one-metre-tall fin popped out of the water and started heading towards him and other surfers, Mr Cunningham decided to head ashore. “I didn’t have anything to sit on and with most of my body under the water, it felt a bit freaky.” The other surfers had stayed at sea unfazed by the visitors.

After catching a wave Mr Cunningham had noticed the orcas had caught a wave behind him.

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