Daily Dispatch

The Aussie Loo

Greetings, Bathroom Reader fans around the world. BRI Thom here, reporting from the field, which, barring deportation or a fatal shark attack, I shall be doing so henceforth. I’ve flown the bathroom-reading headquarters coop in our sleepy little Oregon hamlet, and am currently reporting from a picnic bench a few yards from the South Pacific Ocean just north of Sydney, Australia—one block or some from my new home. Leaving Uncle John and the crack staff at the BRI was heartbreaking…until I got here. (I mean come on! I practically live on a tropical beach, for goodness’ sake!)

Fortunately Uncle John forgot to change the locks here, and I’ll still be posting on the UJ Blog!

My first exclusive: The Aussie Loo, and how it corresponds almost exactly to Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. Just take a look at this beauty:

The Pearl Harbor Spy

Today, December 7, 2010, is the 69th anniversary of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. (69th?! Wow!) In our very latest—and many are already saying the greatest, thank you very much—work, Uncle John’s HEAVY DUTY Bathroom Reader, we tell the story of the single Japanese spy who made the entire attack possible. Here’s an excerpt:

DUSTBIN OF HISTORY:
THE PEARL HARBOR SPY
The Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, remains
one of the most infamous events in U.S. history. Yet the spy who
played a key role in the sneak attack is a forgotten man,
unknown even to many World War II buffs.

Under Cover
On March 27, 1941, a 27-year-old junior diplomat named Tadashi Morimura arrived in Honolulu to take his post as vice-consul at the Japanese consulate. But that was just a cover—“Morimura” was really Takeo Yoshikawa, a Japanese Imperial Navy Intelligence officer. His real mission: to collect information about the American military installations in and around Pearl Harbor.

Law & Order: The Knucklehead Files

This is a news item about two separate, yet equally important groups: The police who investigate crime, and the District Attorneys who get sent text messages by drug dealers. (Dong dong!)

Police say an Indiana man was arrested after mistakenly sending text messages to a prosecutor about drugs he was trying to sell.

Doorknob as Fish-Eye Lens Into Other Room

Oh, this is such a good idea, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it ourselves!

In conjunction with Design Tide Tokyo, architect Hideyuki Nakayama – a protégé of Toyo Ito –　has teamed up with UNION, a manufacturer of door handles and levers, to create a glass globe doorknob. As you approach the doorknob you catch a glimpse of what appears to be another world, waiting for you to enter and join, but in fact is a reflection of the room on the other side of the door.

RIP: Leslie Nielsen

The funny man from the Northwest Territories has gone to that great Airplane in the sky.

“LOS ANGELES – Leslie Nielsen, who traded in his dramatic persona for inspired bumbling as a hapless doctor in “Airplane!” and the accident-prone detective Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun” comedies, died on Sunday in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. He was 84.

The Canadian-born actor died from complications from pneumonia at a hospital near his home at 5:34 p.m., surrounded by his wife, Barbaree, and friends, his agent John S. Kelly said in a statement.”

A moment from Lieutenant Frank Drebin:

When in China, Do as the Romans Do

Truly fascinating story about a legendary lost Roman army legion—and their possible descendants in remote China:

“Tests found that the DNA of some villagers in Liqian, on the fringes of the Gobi Desert in north-western China, was 56 per cent Caucasian in origin.”

It’s World Toilet Day

Everyone please take a moment to walk down the hall, open the door to the WC, have a look at that old, taken-for-granted commode, and say, “Thank you, toilet. You’ve been very good to me. So thank you, thank you, thank you.” Everyone, right?

On a more serious note, today is World Toilet Day, brought to us by the World Toilet Organization:

World Toilet Day is celebrated on November 19 of every year. The World Toilet Organization is the main driver for this global event. WTO, a global non-profit organization committed to improving toilet and sanitation conditions worldwide.

Surfing Killer Whales! [Updated]

It’s becoming more common to call them orcas rather than killer whales, but it makes the title of this story so much more exciting:

But when a one-metre-tall fin popped out of the water and started heading towards him and other surfers, Mr Cunningham decided to head ashore. “I didn’t have anything to sit on and with most of my body under the water, it felt a bit freaky.” The other surfers had stayed at sea unfazed by the visitors.

After catching a wave Mr Cunningham had noticed the orcas had caught a wave behind him.

Separated at Birth: Gary Oldman and Eli Wallach

There’s a story on NPR today about the actor Eli Wallach, whom you probably know from several films, primarily Westerns, including Sergio Leone’s 1966 classic, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, with Clint Eastwood. Here’s an image of him from that film:

Mr. Wallach is receiving an honorary Oscar this Saturday, the story says, and congratulations to him. But now to the point of this post: In doing a little research on Wallach this morning, I found a photo of him on Wikimedia Commons, from the 1956 film Baby Doll.

Does he look like Gary Oldman in this photo, or what?

It’s a Small World

A story to prove that it truly is a small, small world – spacewise and timewise:

• In 2007 we released Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into National Parks.

• On page 107, in an article about Ellis Island, now known as Ellis Island National Monument, we mentioned that the very first person to pass through the then brand new federal immigration station, on January 1, 1892, was a 15-year-old girl from Ireland named Annie Moore.

• Yesterday we received an email from BRI fan Nicole H, who said:

How to Tickle a Trout: Step 4, Abbreviated

You’re probably aware that our brand new bathroom-reading masterpiece—Uncle John’s HEAVY DUTY Bathroom Reader—is now available, and at a really low special holiday price. In this volume you will find hundreds of easy to digest articles on the art of safe-cracking, the Arab world’s Homer Simpson, the Japanese spy who made the Pearl Harbor attack possible, 185 uses for a pig, seven deadly SpongeBobs, and even instructions on how to hypnotize a chicken. And so much more.

But now, in a special BRI event that will shake the world, here is “Step 4,” abbreviated, from the HEAVY DUTY article that will leave you mesmerized and possibly a little moist, “How To Tickle a Trout”:

That Old Drive-In Theater

For reasons only the mind-faeries know I just thought of the old drive-in theater that I grew up a short walk through a yard and a field from in Western New York. And lo and behold—I found it on the internet. In several places. There’s even an aeriel photo of the site (at the first link) from 1978. And my house is even in there—who knows, I may have even been standing in the yard at the time! (Click pix to enlarge.)

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