If you were looking for something this morning that was wrong in more ways than you can count, look no further:
A Polish fire brigade has rebelled against its commander after an alleged campaign of humiliation and abuse of power that saw him force them to greet each other with a “Heil Hitler” each morning.
Oh, this is such a good idea, I can’t believe we didn’t think of it ourselves!
In conjunction with Design Tide Tokyo, architect Hideyuki Nakayama – a protégé of Toyo Ito – has teamed up with UNION, a manufacturer of door handles and levers, to create a glass globe doorknob. As you approach the doorknob you catch a glimpse of what appears to be another world, waiting for you to enter and join, but in fact is a reflection of the room on the other side of the door.
The funny man from the Northwest Territories has gone to that great Airplane in the sky.
“LOS ANGELES – Leslie Nielsen, who traded in his dramatic persona for inspired bumbling as a hapless doctor in “Airplane!” and the accident-prone detective Frank Drebin in “The Naked Gun” comedies, died on Sunday in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. He was 84.
The Canadian-born actor died from complications from pneumonia at a hospital near his home at 5:34 p.m., surrounded by his wife, Barbaree, and friends, his agent John S. Kelly said in a statement.”
A moment from Lieutenant Frank Drebin:
Truly fascinating story about a legendary lost Roman army legion—and their possible descendants in remote China:
“Tests found that the DNA of some villagers in Liqian, on the fringes of the Gobi Desert in north-western China, was 56 per cent Caucasian in origin.”
Today is the anniversary of the assassination of the 35th president of the United States, John F. Kennedy.
Sounds like a perfect time to bring an old conspiracy theory back to life. From Uncle John’s Fast-Acting, Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader…
CONSPIRACY THEORY: John F. Kennedy wasn’t assassinated—he’s still alive!
Everyone please take a moment to walk down the hall, open the door to the WC, have a look at that old, taken-for-granted commode, and say, “Thank you, toilet. You’ve been very good to me. So thank you, thank you, thank you.” Everyone, right?
On a more serious note, today is World Toilet Day, brought to us by the World Toilet Organization:
World Toilet Day is celebrated on November 19 of every year. The World Toilet Organization is the main driver for this global event. WTO, a global non-profit organization committed to improving toilet and sanitation conditions worldwide.
It’s becoming more common to call them orcas rather than killer whales, but it makes the title of this story so much more exciting:
But when a one-metre-tall fin popped out of the water and started heading towards him and other surfers, Mr Cunningham decided to head ashore. “I didn’t have anything to sit on and with most of my body under the water, it felt a bit freaky.” The other surfers had stayed at sea unfazed by the visitors.
After catching a wave Mr Cunningham had noticed the orcas had caught a wave behind him.
Here’s a BRI salute to all our veterans out there, those gone and those still with us. Thank you, from all of us.
And here’s an appropriate excerpt from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Salutes the Armed Forces, called, “Old Soldiers.” (Click on images to enlarge; click a second time to sharpen image.)
There’s a story on NPR today about the actor Eli Wallach, whom you probably know from several films, primarily Westerns, including Sergio Leone’s 1966 classic, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, with Clint Eastwood. Here’s an image of him from that film:
Mr. Wallach is receiving an honorary Oscar this Saturday, the story says, and congratulations to him. But now to the point of this post: In doing a little research on Wallach this morning, I found a photo of him on Wikimedia Commons, from the 1956 film Baby Doll.
Does he look like Gary Oldman in this photo, or what?
A story to prove that it truly is a small, small world – spacewise and timewise:
• In 2007 we released Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges Into National Parks.
• On page 107, in an article about Ellis Island, now known as Ellis Island National Monument, we mentioned that the very first person to pass through the then brand new federal immigration station, on January 1, 1892, was a 15-year-old girl from Ireland named Annie Moore.
• Yesterday we received an email from BRI fan Nicole H, who said:
You’re probably aware that our brand new bathroom-reading masterpiece—Uncle John’s HEAVY DUTY Bathroom Reader—is now available, and at a really low special holiday price. In this volume you will find hundreds of easy to digest articles on the art of safe-cracking, the Arab world’s Homer Simpson, the Japanese spy who made the Pearl Harbor attack possible, 185 uses for a pig, seven deadly SpongeBobs, and even instructions on how to hypnotize a chicken. And so much more.
But now, in a special BRI event that will shake the world, here is “Step 4,” abbreviated, from the HEAVY DUTY article that will leave you mesmerized and possibly a little moist, “How To Tickle a Trout”:
For reasons only the mind-faeries know I just thought of the old drive-in theater that I grew up a short walk through a yard and a field from in Western New York. And lo and behold—I found it on the internet. In several places. There’s even an aeriel photo of the site (at the first link) from 1978. And my house is even in there—who knows, I may have even been standing in the yard at the time! (Click pix to enlarge.)
Hey, BRI fans, here’s a special shout out from Uncle John and Mrs. Uncle John to those of you who haven’t gotten around to voting yet today: Go on, vote—you’ll like it! It makes your breath smell better, aids digestion, takes the aches and pains out of your feet and legs, and makes people think you’re a bit more handsome and pretty than usual. It really, really does.
File this story under “amazing”:
When the ball hits the bat, the radio announcer exclaims that it’s sailing far. Dean Du Plessis’ acute sense of hearing and his eavesdropping on other commentators helps him overcome the fact that he is blind, producing a delivery so polished that most listeners are unaware that he can’t see.
Mr Du Plessis hears the power and direction of the hit. He listens to the speed and spin of the ball, along with the players’ exertions and their cries of elation or frustration. He senses the excitement – or otherwise – of the play on the cricket field and collates the scores with a computer-like memory.
No matter which side of the roll you pull from, BRI fans, I think every one of us can agree that THIS sign from the Jon Stewart-Stephen Colbert Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear is the perfect sign for all of us:
The technology you thought would never come is finally here. Yes, it’s the tubeless roll of TP:
On Monday, Kimberly-Clark, one of the world’s biggest makers of household paper products, will begin testing Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper at Walmart and Sam’s Club stores throughout the Northeast. If sales take off, it may introduce the line nationally and globally — and even consider adapting the technology into its paper towel brands.
No, the holes in the rolls aren’t perfectly round. But they do fit over TP spindles and come with this promise: Even the last piece of toilet paper will be usable — without glue stuck on it.
Why, you might ask, are they doing this?
The 17 billion toilet paper tubes produced annually in the USA account for 160 million pounds of trash, according to Kimberly-Clark estimates, and could stretch more than a million miles placed end-to-end.
Not bad, eh?
Hey Northeast BRI fans:
It is time for another giveaway and since Halloween is around the corner, we want to hear about your costume choices. Tell us on the Blog/Facebook/Twitter what you are dressing up as this weekend and be entered in a random drawing to win a copy of the brand new Uncle John’s Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader. If you are not dressing up, tell us your kid’s or pet’s costume.
You have till Sunday, midnight PST. We will announce the winner on Monday.
You have till Sunday, midnight PST. We will announce the winner on Monday.
In our little forested enclave here in Southern Oregon it’s been a day and more of vicious gusts of October winds. The skies are filled with rivers of colorful leaves. Beautiful. Made us think of a song by Yusuf—Cat Stevens—Islam. This video is from 2007, from a Paris concert, and he sounds just like he did back in the day:
