Daily Dispatch

“Field Book of Surgery. The Wounded Man.”

We’re deep on deadline here at BRI headquarters, and I’m just polishing up a page on fascinating brain facts—”Your brain is so soft it can be cut with a butter knife” is a fun one. I just came across this bit of info: The earliest known realistic depiction of a human brain was made just 500 or so years ago. Imagine that. Of all the tens of thousands of years that modern humans have been around, we didn’t, at least according to the article linked, get a good drawing of that most vital of organs—the brain—until just a few centuries ago. Almost makes you feel young, doesn’t it?

Introducing: “Uncle John’s Briefs” and giveaway!

Inside Uncle John’s Briefs are the most entertaining, myth-busting, and thought-provoking brief articles from Uncle John’s enormous Bathroom Reader library. So plunge in and see for yourself why the Bathroom Reader series has sold more than 10 million books.

Here is a bit of what awaits you…

  • Corn Crackos and other cereal flops
  • Baseball’s most bizarre injuries
  • The timeless wisdom of Mr. T
  • The origins of the warerbed, tarter sauce, and the polka
  • How to talk like a mobster
  • The anatomy of a hiccup

…and much, much more!

Now to the fun part—Giveaway!!!

J.D. Salinger’s Porcelein “Throne” For Sale

If we didn’t already have a toilet at the office, we might have all pitched in to buy J.D. Salinger’s “Throne.”

The description reads: “Here’s an item you won’t come across everyday! This is the toilet that was personally owned AND used by J.D. Salinger for many years! It sat in his home in Cornish, New Hampshire, and was installed in the ‘new wing’ of his house. When he died, his wife inherited all of his manuscripts with plans to eventually release some of them! Who knows how many of these stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on this throne!”

But, we’re not sure $1 million is a fair price. What do you think?

Water Striders’ Mating Blackmail

A creepy yet fascinating insect story from Discover:

“Hyper-violent males can sometimes wear the female down but some opt for a subtler approach – they tap intricate rhythms on the water with their legs. When Han and Jablonski discovered these rituals last year, they suggested that the males might be trying to demonstrate their quality, by tapping out the most consistent rhythms. Now, they have another explanation – the tapping is a form of blackmail, a way of coercing sex from the female with the threat of death.

The duo studied the preferences of the backswimmer – a predatory bug that floats upside-down at the water’s surface and listens out for the vibrations of potential prey. When given a choice between a silent male water strider and a mating pair with a tapping male, the backswimmer always headed towards the vibrating duo. And since these predators attack from below, the female was always the one who was injured while the male strode off to tap another day.”

Headline Writing, Part Eleventy Million

There’s a headline over at GrindTV right now that says this:

“Marlin goes berserk, attacks press boat during Hawaii tournament”

We here at the BRI enjoy taking our luxury yachts on fishing trips to exotic locales around the world as much as anyone—but can you give a fish a break here? It had a hook in its face. Does reacting to that qualify as going “beserk,” and “attack[ing]” a boat? It may have just wanted to, you know, get the hook out of its face.

And now for some interesting internet comments…

Someone at Yahoo hit their head and put up a REALLY DUMB ARTICLE about “money habits” you didn’t know were illegal. Did you know, for instance, that it is illegal to lie on a home loan application? Of that you can’t make copies of U.S. currency? I know, it’s crazy!

Hey, it happens—but we still get to laugh at it. And read the comments. And there are over 4,700 of them. A few of our favorites:

These comments are way more interesting and accurate than the the stupid article.

I’m sure everyone that read this already knew you weren’t allowed to copy money. It is called “counterfeiting”, Marcie.

well no @#$% sherlock

Ohh.. Can’t I make my own money? *facepalm* -.-

Giveaway Time: Ready, Set, Go!

It’s been a few weeks since we introduced our brand new website, and we thought it was time to give you, our loyal fans, something to thank you for hanging around. So…it’s giveaway time! That’s right, five lucky fans will get 1 free book of their choice from our store, simply for being our readers! All you have to do to enter our giveaway is leave us a comment on THIS blog post, with the answer to this question: Do you fold or bunch your tp? Make sure you comment with a working email address so that we have a way to contact you if you win! (You can answer the question once per contest). Continue reading for 6 additional ways to win.

Thank You, C-SPAN

Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Dang, it sure is a good thing that we have C-SPAN”? Well, it’s a good thing to remember that before 1979 we didn’t have anything like it—and it took one person, Brian Lamb, a lot of work over a lot of years to get it on the air. We wrote about it in Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Bathroom Reader (page 243). Here’s an excerpt:

Mr. Lamb goes to Washington
During the Vietnam War, a young navy lieutenant from Indiana named Brian Lamb was assigned to the Pentagon press office to report troop deaths to the media. The amount of information either omitted or censored in order to paint a rosier picture of the war appalled him. “The government lied to us,” he later recalled. “We just weren’t getting the straight scoop.”

During that time, Lamb also served as an aide in the Johnson White House. Once again he saw a huge gap between what the American people knew and what was really happening. “I got a firsthand education about how the media interacts with the government, and it led me to think that there could be a better way.”

That better way was a news outlet that would report what was happening in politics—with two major differences: 1) no censorship from government; and 2) no commentary from media pundits.

RIP: John Callahan

He wasn’t for everyone, but we sure liked him.

“John Callahan, a quadriplegic, alcoholic cartoonist whose work in newspapers and magazines made irreverent, impolitic sport of people with disabilities and diseases and those who would pity and condescend to them, died Saturday in Portland, Ore. He was 59 and lived in Portland.”

Here’s his Web site. It actually has a section titled “Free Animations,” and visitors are invited to take one or more, asking only that you provide a link back to the site in exchange. What a guy. Here’s a fairly mellow one that’ll give you a bit of an idea what John Callahan was all about:

San Diego Comic-Con Round-Up

This is Secret Agent M reporting. Comic-Con is officially over. Beside more pictures of great costumes and booths, below you will find highlights of the induction of Sylvester Stallone to the Action Hero Hall of Fame, the annual Zombie Walk, and SYFY/EW’s red carpet event. For those who followed all the Comic-Con news, I was no where near Hall H and know nothing about the guy who stabbed the other guy in the eye because he was sitting too close to him at a panel.

Now to the fun stuff:

Whiplash from Iron Man.

Joker from “The Killing Joke” and Harley Quinn.

Drew Struzan: Movie poster artist of Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Indiana Jones fame.

San Diego Comic-Con: Photostream

The world’s premier comic book convention is going on right now in San Diego – and we have a BRI agent there taking photos of the fantastic sites. We’re going to be adding photos to this post throughout the day; should be a blast.

Let’s get things rolling with the first image, just sent to me via the marvelous Mana’s mobile:

Iron Man bad guy?

Sailor Moon!

The real Chewbacca!!! Peter Mayhew!

Green Lantern Girl and…that guy

Rare 90-Year-Old Tree Flowers for the First Time

Very cool story from the wild world of, well, the Wild:

One rare tree specimen in Ireland is proving that it’s never too late to try something new. Some 90 years after being planted on an estate outside of Belfast, a Goat Horn Trees [sic], native to China, is flowering its pale, aromatic blossoms for the very first time ever. Sadly though, it’s attempt to find another tree with which to reproduce will likely be in vain as there’s only one more like it in the whole country.

Sad little tree.

Here’s some more information on Carrierea calycinea, and a nice pic of the tree’s flowers:

Announcing the Bathroom Reading Month Scavenger Hunt Winners!!!

Dear brave souls that participated in our scavenger hunt:

We thank you all for taking the time to research, take pictures, and get creative with each of our clues. Over the next couple of weeks, we will share some of the awesome pictures/answers with you all. As promised, the winners have been picked and notified. And…here they are:

Grand-prize winner (iPad):
Anna Harmon

Runner Ups (10 signed Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers):
Mary Jane Crewe
Brian Breslin
James King

Read on for all the answers.

Double-Rainbow Man

Hooo-oot! The internet has a new star. Paul “Yosemitebear Mountain Giant” Vasquez took a video of a double rainbow at his property in the vicinity of Yosemite National Park in California. And he talked about it. On the video. It has received more than 2 million viewers on YouTube in less than three days. It is, in a word, high-larious.

We should note that Vasquez insists he was not under the influence of any illegal substances at the time. He was just “happy.”

Somebody went on to add some music:

Here’s an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader salute to Yosemitebear Mountain Giant, our brand new favorite practically famous person. Oh, and here’s a pic:

A Land Down Under, and a Coincidence

We thought you all might enjoy a morning wake up song. Or to put it another way: Get to work!

Holy cow! I had just put that bit of the post up, then went to look for an interesting bit of extra info about Men at Work—and found this:

Men at Work star Greg Ham fears he’ll be forced to “sell his house” to pay out royalties for their 1980s hit Down Under after the band lost a copyright battle over the song.

A judge in Australia has ruled that the flute solo in the track samples parts of Kookaburra Sits In The Old Gum Tree, a song written by an music teacher for the Girl Guides in 1934.

The song’s composers, Colin Hay and Ron Strykert, will have to pay bosses at Larrikin music publishers five per cent of the song’s proceeds dating back to 2002, as well as royalties from future earnings. […]

No one detected it – I didn’t detect it and I played the f***ing thing. I was looking for something that sounded Australiana – that’s what came out – it was never Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree.

I must be a bit psychic today.

Here’s the Kookaburra song, done with the Aussie dance that Aussie kids do to the song. Let us know what you think: Can you hear how the flute part in “Land Down Under” might have borrowed from it?

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