Daily Dispatch

RIP Clarence Clemons [updates]

Ow. Much beloved sax player for Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band Clarence Clemons has died:

Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock’s most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69.

The cause was complications from a stroke, which he suffered last Sunday, said a spokeswoman for Mr. Springsteen.

From the beginnings of the E Street Band in 1972, Mr. Clemons played a central part in Mr. Springsteen’s music, complementing the group’s electric guitar and driving rhythms in songs like “Born to Run” and “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out” with muscular, melodic saxophone hooks that echoed doo-wop, soul and early rock ’n’ roll.

Play it, Big Man. (Legendary Clemons “Jungleland” solo starts at 4:20):

James Arness’s Farewell Note

Sheriff Matt Dillon has ridden out of Dodge:

It takes a special kind of lawman to carry on for 20 years in the Wild West of TV.

Matt Dillon, the mythical marshal of Dodge City, stood tall – all 6 feet, 6 inches of him – on “Gunsmoke” from 1955 to 1975. He outlasted dozens of other Western heroes while making history on TV’s longest-running dramatic series, a record that held until NBC’s “Law & Order” tied the CBS Western’s record in 2010.

Through all those gunslinging years, James Arness, who died Friday, kept Marshal Dillon righteous, peace-seeking and, most of all, believable.

And: He left a note of farewell on his website:

Happy Birthday, Bob

Seems like pretty much the whole world is going out of their way to send a birthday wish to The Most Interesting Man In the World, Mr. Bob Dylan, today.

We hate to do what everyone else is doing, but we can’t help it this time: Happy Birthday, Bob. If the only song you ever wrote was “Desolation Row” you’d still be one of the best songwriters in history. (And we hear you actually wrote some other songs, too…) Happy Birthday, and many, many more to you, from all of us at the BRI. Here’s a little tune for you. (Substitute the “50” for a “70,”  in this song, if you will.)

RIP Macho Man

Pro wrestling legend Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage has died:

“Professional wrestling and the entertainment community in general has lost a legend.

Randall Mario Poffo, better known to the world as Randy “Macho Man” Savage, died today after reportedly crashing his car into a tree subsequent losing control of the vehicle. His wife also was in the car, but only suffered minor injuries. He was a young 58 years old.”

Fellow wrestler Dusty Rhodes:

“There’s probably five or six of us, with Andre (the Giant) and (Hulk) Hogan and thankfully myself and (Ric) Flair, that, when their names pop up, even if you’re not a fan, you know who in the hell these people are,” Rhodes said.

High school baseball coach (Savage was a minor  league baseballl player before he was a wrestler):

Finally, He Gets to Shave

EAST WENATCHEE, Wash. – A teacher who vowed nearly 10 years ago not to cut his beard until Osama bin Laden was captured or proven dead said he cried Sunday night upon hearing of the terrorist’s death.

“I spent my first five minutes crying and then I couldn’t get it off fast enough,” said Gary Weddle, 50, who lives in East Wenatchee but teaches middle school science in Ephrata.

Weddle has wanted to cut his beard for years. His wife, Donita, has wanted him to cut it, too. But for Weddle a vow is a vow and so he hadn’t even trimmed it until Sunday night.

RIP: Hazel Dickens

We just heard today that the great bluegrass singer and true American treasure Hazel Dickens passed away on Friday.

“Hazel Dickens, a West Virginia-born bluegrass singer who was an authentic voice of America’s working class, has died in Washington at 75.

Ms. Dickens grew up in dire poverty in West Virginia’s coal country and developed a raw, keening style of singing that was filled with the pain of her hardscrabble youth. She supported herself in day jobs for many years before she was heard on the soundtrack of the 1976 Oscar-winning documentary about coal mining, ‘Harlan County, U.S.A.’

Her uncompromising songs about coal mining, such as ‘Black Lung’ and ‘They Can’t Keep Us Down,’ became anthems, and she was among the first to sing of the plight of women trying to get by in the working-class world.”

Get your chills ready, and listen to this:

Last Shot of the Civil War: Fired in Alaska

Crazy story for you history nuts out there:

The 150th anniversary of the first shot of America’s deadliest conflict has been widely noted this month. Few people are aware, however, that the last shot was fired off Alaska’s shores.

It was fired by the Confederate ship CSS Shenandoah, at the end of its mission to disrupt Yankee maritime business all over the world. And where did they get the ship?

In October 1864, it [the ship] was secretly transferred to the Confederate Navy in a black-ops rendezvous off the coast of Africa. A skeleton crew rigged the ship for battle and renamed it Shenandoah.

I can see the movie now! Mel Gibson as the skipper! (Is that wrong?)

Was the ship successful?

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

The one and only Elizabeth Taylor has passed away in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 79. From the website of her hometown newspaper in London, England:

Farewell Dame Liz

SCREEN icon Dame Elizabeth Taylor, who spent her formative years in Hampstead Garden Suburb, died yesterday aged 79. The double Oscar-winning actress, whose best known films include National Velvet and Cleopatra, was one of the 20th century’s biggest stars.

The Guardian says “Born to be Cleopatra.”

Tsunami Surge Video – San Francisco Bay

You’ve all no doubt heard about the huge earthquake and devastating tsunami in Japan. Our thoughts are with everyone there.

You may have also heard that tsunami warnings were issued for the American West Coast, not far from the BRI headquarters. (We are too far inland to be in any danger, just to note.)

Just two hours and change west of us, Crescent City, California, got hit pretty bad. Andd just to the north of there Brookings, Oregon, got it, too.

Further to the south, someone took a video of a surge entering San Francisco Bay. (No word on damages there.)

Revenge: Best Served to Telecom Companies

This, dear readers, will make every one of you feel a tiny bit better for every minute you’ve ever been on a senseless and agonizing telephone run-around mill courtesy of your telephone company—and a tiny bit times a thousand or so adds up to a lot of feeling better:

Belgium’s much-reviled phone company Mobistar was elaborately pranked by a program on VRT Belgium; the pranksters hid themselves in a steel container, which they had dropped directly in front of the gates of a large Mobistar office at 5AM. The container had a prominent customer service number printed on the side of it — a number which rang the pranksters inside the container — that was promptly called by a series of Mobistar employees who wanted to get the container moved off before 2,000 Mobistar employees reported for work and found the parking lot blocked off.

The pranksters proceed to put the Mobistar employees through a high-art comedic phone hell, disconnecting them…

The Sega Urinal Game

As the kids say: Oh. My. God.

Four types of “Toylets” games are available to be played during a test period ending this month at four male bathrooms in pubs and game arcades, in a project aimed at drawing attention to digital adverts.

Each urinal is fitted with a pressure sensor, and a small digital display is placed at eye level. Digital adverts are shown after the games.

Games include “Graffiti Eraser” in which a user tries to aim at the pressure sensor in the urinal to erase virtual graffiti on the display.

There is even a video. Really. (And no, it does not feature an actual man peeing.)

RIP Mr. Jack LaLanne

The undauntable Jack LaLanne has left for the big exercise room in the sky:

“I have not only lost my husband and a great American icon, but the best friend and most loving partner anyone could ever hope for,” Elaine LaLanne, Lalanne’s wife of 51 years and a frequent partner in his television appearances, said in a written statement.

UJBR Blog: Year in Review

This is our first year in the great big blogosphere, and therefore our first UJBR YiR. We had an executive meeting of the BRI crack staff, and decided that the theme of our first ever YiR should be…weird bathroom news. I mean “bathroom” is right there in our name and everything! How weird is that?

Getting right on with it:

In February, Toronto, Ontario, restaurant Mildred’s celebrated Valentines Day by encouraging patrons to have sex in its bathrooms. “Have you given any thought to moving beyond the bedroom?” they asked on thei website. “Check out Mildred’s Sexy Bathrooms throughout the weekend of Big Love. You get the picture.”( We do get the picture—and it ain’t pretty!) Bizarrely, Toronto Public Health said it was alright: “As far as bodily fluids,” said Jim Chan, manager of the food safety program, “it’s pretty much similar to the other human functions going on in there.” (Photo: Rene Johnson, Toronto Star)

Our New Year’s Gift to You: The Origami Ducky

We wanted to get each and every one of you a gift this holiday season. But, since we didn’t have everyone’s addresses, the hard part was figuring out what to get you that we could transported through the internet. So, here is our little thank you for supporting us in 2010 and for the many years before…and after: THE ORIGAMI DUCKY! (First appeared in Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader)
Continue Reading to print out the template.

Miracle on Ice: Where are They Now?

Three days ago the Men’s U.S. Olympic Hockey team got an unexpected win over heavily favored Canada, the first time the Americans have beaten the Canadians in an Olympics since 1960. MSNBC got 8.22 million viewers for the Sunday afternoon broadcast—the second highest total in the network’s history. (Only election night 2008 got more.) Congratulations to the U.S. team, and good luck for the rest of the tournament to both the U.S. and Canada.

The game came just a day short of the 30th anniversary of what is arguably the biggest moment in U.S. sports history, the “Miracle on Ice” that saw the Americans beat the Russians, winner of the gold in the four previous Olympics, on their own way to winning gold at the 1980 games in Lake Placid, New York. In Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Plunges into Minnesota (2006), we covered the “Miracle on Ice” story—and looked into where some of the players and coaches are today. Here’s an excerpt (with updates!)

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