Daily Dispatch

Happy Birthday California!

Happy birthday California (163 years old today!). Here are some amazing California facts from Uncle John’s Plunges into California.

 

16 CALIFORNIA EXTREMES

How much do you know about California’s highest, lowest, oldest, largest, and smallest stuff?

Happy Birthday CaliforniaTALLEST LIVING THING: Hyperion, a 379-foot Sequoia (California redwood) tree located in the Redwood National Park near Eureka. Hyperion’s location in the park is kept secret to prevent it from being damaged by tourists.

SMALLEST MOUNTAIN RANGE: The Sutter Butte Mountain Range near Yuba City. The buttes are a circular volcanic outcropping just 10 miles in diameter.

OLDEST LIVING TREE IN NORTH AMERICA: A 4,842- year-old bristlecone pine in Inyo National Forest outside Bishop.

Named Methuselah (after the oldest person whose age is referenced in the Bible), this pine was a seedling during the Bronze Age, when the Pyramids were going up in Egypt.

LARGEST LIVING TREE: General Sherman, a giant sequoia in Sequoia National Park, east of Visalia. Named for Civil War general William Tecumseh Sherman, this tree weighs more than 2 million pounds, is 275 feet tall, and is the largest tree on earth when measured by its estimated volume of 52,513 cubic feet.

BIGGEST SOLITARY BOULDER: Giant Rock in Landers in the Mojave Desert. At about seven stories high, it weighs more than 23,000 tons.

LONGEST RUNWAY: At Edwards Air Force Base in the Mojave Desert. It’s 7.5 miles long, and the first space shuttle landed there.

WORLD’S TALLEST ONE-PIECE TOTEM POLE: Built in 1962, the brightly painted 160-foot-tall pole in the McKinleyville Shopping Center was designed by Ernest Pierson, who carved it from a single 500-year-old redwood.

OLDEST CONCRETE BRIDGE STILL IN USE: Fernbridge in Humboldt County. Built in 1911 of reinforced concrete, it crosses the Eel River and is 1,450 feet long.

HIGHEST LANDING PAD ON A BUILDING: The U.S. Bank Tower in downtown L.A. is 1,018 feet high, making it the world’s tallest building with a helipad on the roof. It’s also America’s tallest building west of Chicago.

NORTH AMERICA’S BEST VIEW OF THE WORLD: The 3,849-foot summit of Mt. Diablo in Contra Costa County. It reveals more of the earth’s surface than any other peak in the world, except Mt. Kilimanjaro in Africa. Mt. Diablo looks west to the Farallon Islands in the Pacific, east to the Sierra Nevada mountain range, south to the Santa Cruz Mountains, and north to the Cascades.

NORTH AMERICA’S HIGHEST CONCENTRATION OF LAVA TUBE CAVES: Lava Beds National Monument near Tulelake.

Weird Holiday: Fight Procrastination Day

We were going to run this article earlier today, but, you know…

Procrastination DayAccording to a recent study, the average American worker spends around two hours a day at work on activities not-related to work—in other words, goofing off, messing around, or procrastinating. This ends up costing employers millions in lost productivity annually. (Shame on you if you’re reading this at work.) This national “epidemic” spreads beyond work. Other studies show that putting off things you have to do anyway, such as paying bills or filing taxes, can drain hundreds of dollars from your bank account.

The Beatles: Reunited! (Sort of)

Even the bands whose members hate each other eventually reunite—Pink Floyd, Eagles, and the Police, for example. But the biggest band to never reunite is the biggest band of all: the Beatles. Except for those several times when the Beatles reunited. (Well, sort of.)

The Beatles ReunitedA Toot and a Snore in ’74 (1974)

John Lennon and Paul McCartney were very hot and cold with each other after the Beatles broke up in 1970—they’d snipe at each in the press sometimes, while other times, they were friendly. For example, the night Lorne Michaels famously made his offer to pay the Beatles $3,000 to reunite on Saturday Night Live, Lennon and McCartney were actually watching the show, together, in Lennon’s apartment in New York, and almost went down to the show. But they only ever recorded together again once. In March 1974, Lennon had temporarily split with his wife, Yoko Ono, and had moved to Los Angeles. On March 28, he was at a Burbank studio producing Harry Nilsson’s Pussy Cats. That’s when Paul and Linda McCartney dropped by, unannounced. Lennon greeted McCartney by saying, “Valiant Paul McCartney, I presume?” McCartney responded, “Sir Jasper Lennon, I presume.” It was an inside joke—the lines were an exchange from a 1962 Beatles TV special. Before long, a jam sessions was underway—Lennon on guitar and lead vocals, McCartney on drums and harmonies. (And another drop-in, Stevie Wonder, played piano.) A bootleg of the session didn’t surface until 1992 under the title A Toot and a Snore in ’74, because Lennon repeatedly keeps asking for a “toot”—cocaine. The 26-minute recording is mostly chatter, but Lennon and McCartney play a bit of “Stand By Me” and “Sleepwalk.”

Will the Real J.D. Salinger Please Stand Up?

The world’s most reclusive author is releasing a bunch of new books.
Can you figure out which ones they are?

j.d. salinger catcher in the ryeCatcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger was as famous for being a recluse who never published much after his famous 1951 novel as he was for that seminal book. After Salinger died at age 91 in 2010, there was wide speculation that if he’d been writing during all those years holed up in his house in New Hampshire, scores of books might finally see the light of day. And now, they are. Salinger’s estate has been settled, and it includes detailed instructions regarding how he wanted five completely unseen books to be released.

Fans have wondered for years what those books might be, and Uncle John is no exception. In Fake Facts, our book of completely made-up and silly trivia that sounds true but isn’t, we included a piece about imaginary lost works of Salinger called “The Salinger Vault.” Can you guess which of the following are books from the real Salinger vault that will soon be published …and which came from the phony Salinger vault in Fake Facts?

Taking it to the Grave

Undertakers will honor most funeral requests (as long as they’re legal). Check out these strange things people are buried with.

Strange Things People Are Buried WithRECLINER. Reuben John Smith (d. 1899) liked to relax in life, so he asked that his eternal resting place be a leather recliner and that a checkerboard be placed in his lap. (Smith also asked to be buried with a key to his tomb in case the undertakers made a mistake.)

WHISTLE. In To Have and Have Not (1944), Lauren Bacall delivers a famous line to real-life future husband Humphrey Bogart: “You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together…and blow.” After Bogart was cremated, Bacall put a golden whistle in the urn with his ashes.

PIPE AND TOBACCO. Sixteenth-century explorer Sir Walter Raleigh is credited with popularizing tobacco smoking in England, a habit he picked up on his travels to the New World. His last request before being executed for treason in 1618: one final smoke. Raleigh’s will provided for “ten pounds of tobacco, and two pipes” for any smoker who attended his funeral, and requested that he be buried with his favorite pipe and some tobacco, in a coffin lined with wood from his cigar boxes.

Musical Word Origins

Because we always wanted to know where the word “music” came from. Here are some musical word origins.

musical word originsDRUM. This word comes from the Middle Dutch term tromme, which is believed to be onomotopaeic in origin. It became the English drum, as a noun, in the early 1500s.

PSALM. The old Greek verb psallein meant “to pluck a stringed instrument.” That became psalmos, which meant something along the lines of “the sound of a harp,” and then came to mean a song, especially a sacred song of the Jewish tradition, as in the psalms of King David.

DOO-WOP. This music style, begun in the 1950s and characterized by rich vocal harmonies, was named for the nonsense syllables sung behind the lead. First song that actually had the phrase “doowop” in it: “When You Dance,” a 1955 hit by the Turbans. It didn’t become an official word, however, until 1969.

Themed Restaurants

Dining out can get kind of boring. After all, how many times can you have the same old burger at the same old coffee shop? Fortunately, in the last 20 years, themed restaurants have emerged, offering diners not just a meal…but an experience. Although, not all of them succeed, they all make a great story.

Themed Restaurants Moden ToiletThe Modern Toilet
Location: Taipei, Taiwan
Details: Yes, it’s a toilet-themed restaurant. Diners sit on toilets and eat out of toilet-shaped bowls and plates. The interior of the restaurant is laid out with brightly colored bathroom tile, and the lights are shaped like urinals. The favorite menu item, says owner Eric Wang, is chocolate ice cream—probably because “it looks like the real thing.”

Random Origins: The Flashlight, 911 Call System, and the Slurpee

Once again Uncle John answers the question: Where does all this stuff come from?

THE FLASHLIGHT

radom origins FlashlightA few years after D-cell batteries were invented in 1896 came the first battery-powered hand lights. The first one— called the “Electrical Hand Torch”—was invented by American Conrad Hubert. Because early batteries were weak and the contacts faulty, the lights flashed a lot, hence the name “flashlight.”

Even after the batteries and contacts were improved, the name stuck. (In the U.K., flashlights are still referred to as “torches.”)

THE 911 EMERGENCY CALL SYSTEM

random origins 911 emergency systemThe 999 emergency phone number was set up in England after a 1937 house fire killed five people. It wasn’t until 1967 that the FCC and AT&T worked together to create the system in the United States. They chose “911” because “999” took too long to dial on a rotary phone. But AT&T was taking a long time to implement the system, so Bob Gallagher, president of the Alabama Telephone Company, ordered his plant manager, Robert Fitzgerald, to set up the nation’s first 911 service in Haleyville, Alabama. By the mid-1970s, most of the U.S. could dial 911.

The Thief Apologizes

thief apologizesSometimes even a thief can feel remorse. Recently, a group of burglars in San Bernardino, California, had a change of heart. The computers they stole belonged to San Bernardino Sexual Assault Services—a nonprofit. Once the burglars realized what they had done, they felt so bad that they returned the computers and left an apology note. The note read:

“We had no idea what we were taking. Here is your stuff back. We hope that you guys can continue to make a difference in people’s lives.”

Here are few other stories of nice crooks from Uncle John’s True Crime.

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Nice Crooks

If they were really nice, they probably wouldn’t be crooks to begin with. But what else would you call a thief who apologizes?

GIMME TEN

At 5:00 a.m. on November 17, 2003, a man walked into a 7-Eleven in Santee, California, pulled out a gun, and told the clerk to give him $10. The clerk gave the man the money, and the man ran off. At 10:00 a.m. the same man returned to the store, put $10 on the counter, and apologized for the robbery. The clerk didn’t wait for the apology—he immediately pressed the “panic” button under the counter. The police arrived and arrested the thief, who explained that he had stolen the money to buy gas for his car.

Why a Just Because Day? Just…because.

Just Because DaySometimes you just need a good excuse to TP your neighbor’s house…or leave a batch of chocolate chip cookies on that same neighbor’s doorstep. For either evil deed, or for good deeds, there’s Just Because Day.

Just Because Day is tomorrow, August 27, and it’s the perfect day to do whatever you please—literally anything. Such is the nature of “Just Because Day.” According to Holiday Insights, an internet depository for these unusual annual events and made-up holidays, it was dreamt up by a California man named Joseph J. Goodwin. Back in the ‘60s, Goodwin created the holiday in order to honor life, his family, and leisure time. He celebrated the first Just Because Day by giving his wife a transistor radio (“just because!” he told her). It became an annual tradition for the Goodwins and one that, presumably, spread from them via word-of-mouth.

Weird Hotels

Part of the fun of travel is enjoying the local flavor. So on your next trip, eat the local food, see the local sights…and stay at the local jail. Here are a few weird hotels we discovered. What is the weirdest hotel you have ever stayed in?

weird hotels the old jailHOTEL: The Old Jail
LOCATION: Mount Gambier, Australia
DESCRIPTION: The Old Jail offers the accommodations—and decidedly spooky atmosphere—of a huge, 19th-century rural prison. The hotel was once the South Australian State Prison, which operated from 1866 to 1995. Not much has changed when it was converted into a hotel. Showers are still communal and best are still cots, but the cell doors can now be opened from the inside. “Inmates” sleep four to a cell (either with strangers or family) or can pay double for a private, two-person suite.

Fruit Brute and Other Forgotten Cereals

Wheaties and Rice Krispies have taken up permanent residency in America’s breakfast bowls—these forgotten cereals, not so much.

Fruite Brute and Other Forgotten CerealsFruit Brute: General Mills debuted a line of five monster cereals in the 1970s: Franken Berry, Yummy Mummy, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Fruit Brute. The biggest flop of the bunch: Fruit Brute. But it has a cool factor—filmmaker Quentin Tarantino collects old cereals, and his personal box of Fruit Brute has appeared in his movies Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. BREAKING NEWS: This Fall we will see the return of Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy for Halloween. This may be the best Halloween EVER!

Graham Crackos: Kellogg’s released this graham-cracker-flavored cereal in the late-1970s, a few years before the crack-cocaine epidemic that hit American cities. In light of this, old commercials for Crackos become unsettling. In one, a character named George arrives at a suburban house to deliver a box of Crackos to a new family. In the background, a cheery balladeer sings, “Something new is comin’ to town, George the Milkman is bringin’ it ’round.” After the mother takes a bite, she asks George if the cereal will help slow her kids down. “Long enough for them to eat,” he replies.

Weird Invention: Dumb USB Gadgets

USB Gadgets Pet RockPet Rock: The item that became synonymous with the whimsical and gullible 1970s has returned! Only now, it’s high-tech. In the spirit of the original, it does nothing; plugging it into your computer’s USB port doesn’t even draw any power away.

 

 

USB Gadgets Squirming TentacleSquirming Tentacle: People will think an octopus or the fictional alien monster Cthulhu has taken control of your laptop when they see a moving tentacle coming out of a USB port. Unlike the Pet Rock, at least it moves.

Uncle John’s Funniest Ever Giveaway!

8/26/13 UPDATE

Winners are: Don J., Eric W., Craig G., Terry D., and Valerie. You have all been contacted via email.

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Another box of advances has just arrived at the office. This one is for Uncle John’s Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader. The book will be available mid October, but we are giving away a copy each to 5 lucky winners (scroll to the bottom of this page to fill out the entry form). Also, as a bonus, here is an article from the book.

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Uncle John's Funniest EverCRAZY WORLD RECORDS

Uncle John holds the world record for the most pages ever read on the throne.
Here are some other dubious achievements.

Christian Adam of Germany set the distance record for riding a bicycle backward while playing the violin: 37.5 miles. It took him a little more than five hours. He played J. S. Back…er, Bach.

On May 6, 2009, Eric “No Class” Matyjasik of Arizona unzipped his pants 162 times in 30 seconds, breaking the old record by 27 zips.

The unofficial world record for staying awake: 18 days, 17 hours, set by Maureen Weston of England while participating in a rocking-chair marathon. Although she hallucinated quite a bit, she says she hasn’t suffered any long-term health effects.

Naya Ganj of India has the world’s longest ear hair. “Making it onto Guinness is special for my family! God has been very kind to me!” said the guy with 5.25 inches of hair growing from his ears.

It’s a Fake!

The moral of this story could be “Don’t believe everything you read,” because not only do writers make occasional mistakes, some writers intentionally insert fictitious facts into their works of non-fiction.

Fake FactsAuthors or publishers have a lot of reasons for inserting the occasional fake fact in an otherwise rigorously researched reference book—they may be laying a “copyright trap” to see if anybody uses their book without giving credit. Or sometimes they just do it because it’s fun to trick people.

FAKE SONG. Joel Whitburn compiles music chart history books based on Billboard’s many charts, which go back to the 1930s. A number of his books note a very obscure song called “The Song of Love” recorded by bandleader Ralph Marterie. Whitburn says the song debuted and peaked at #84 on the pop chart for the week of December 26, 1955. However, Marterie never recorded “The Song of Love.” Nor did Billboard put out a chart the week of December 26, 1955. Whitburn included it to track just how far and by whom his research goes. (Ralph Marterie, however, was a real bandleader and made several recordings in the 1950s.)

Odd Holiday: Chinese Valentine’s Day

It’s almost August 13: Have you bought your Magpie Festival face powder yet?

Chinese Valentine's DayThe Western holiday of Valentine’s Day has its roots in a martyred Catholic priest who performed marriages when they were illegal. It also incorporates elements of Roman mythology, particularly Cupid, the Roman god of love.

China operates from different historical and mythological traditions, so it celebrates Chinese Valentine’s Day in a completely different way and at a completely different time. Instead of February 14, China has the Qixi Festival, or the Magpie Festival, celebrated in the summer, and this year it’s on August 13.

The Wonderful World of Disneyland

Disneyland facts: amazing things you probably never knew about the Happiest Place on Earth.

Disneyland Facts• The park has a large security force. It’s mostly undercover…but there are more Disney security officers than there are police officers in the adjacent city of Anaheim.

• Employee slang for being a costumed character: “duck duty.”

• In the Toy Story movies, the toys would all freeze and drop to the ground when their human owner Andy was approaching. If you yell “Andy’s coming!” when costumed Toy Story characters are out and about…they will freeze and drop to the ground.

Weird Invention: The Hovercraft Golf Cart

The new golf carts at a course in Ohio are a bit different than the old ones—for one thing, they fly.

Hovercraft Golf CartMost golfers dread hitting a water hazard, or hate to maneuver their golf carts around sand traps and other obstacles. But not the golfers at the Windy Knoll Golf Club in Springfield, Ohio. This summer, the course is unveiling two new hovercraft golf carts for their customers to use instead of the more conventional golf carts.

Windy Knoll will become the first course in America to offer BW1 Hovercraft Golf Carts. After seeing a video of PGA tour veteran (and 2012 Masters champion) Bubba Watson buzzing around in a prototype, the club’s management decided that hovercrafts were the future of golf, and that the future is now.

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