Introducing a new feature on Uncle John’s Blog. Each Friday, we’ll give you three bizarre news stories. Two of them are real; one we completely made up. Can you guess which one is the fake? Pick your answer at the end of the article and see if you are right.
Most actors struggle for years, pounding the pavement, going on audition after audition hoping to get their big break. These actors, however, were offered more than
one part at the same time…and had to choose.
Jennifer Aniston
In the 1992-93 TV season, Aniston starred on a short-lived sketch comedy show on Fox called The Edge. Not very many people watched the show (it was cancelled after 18 episodes), but producers at Saturday Night Live must have. Aniston was asked to audition for that show, and she was asked to join the cast for the 1994-95 season. Aniston turned them down, feeling that the pilot she’d just shot for an NBC sitcom called Friends had some promise.
These unauthorized—and blatant—fakes wouldn’t fool even the dumbest of children.
Dreamland (Japan)
In 1959, a group of Japanese investors tried to convince executives at the Walt Disney Company to build a second Disney theme park… in Japan. Disney liked the idea, but not the location and opened a sister park for its Disneyland in California with Disney World in Florida. Undeterred, the consortium decided to move forward without Disney’s blessing and build an exact replica of Disneyland in Nara, Japan. Opening in 1961, Dreamland had all of the amenities of Disneyland, such as replicas of Sleeping Beauty’s Castle, The Jungle Cruise, Autopia, the Matterhorn, a monorail, and even a Main Street USA recreating that old timey small town Americana feel for Japanese tourists. Dreamland was the top amusement park in Japan throughout the ’60s and ’70s…until the genuine article Tokyo Disneyland opened in 1983. Dreamland closed for good in 2006.
Even if you aren’t into heavy metal, you probably know that “666” is a number associated with evil. How come? The devil is in the details. Here is a history of 666.
The Book of Revelation was written in Greek sometime between 70 and 95 A.D., by an author known only as John. While its most commonly associated with scary, cryptic, or apocolyptic imagery, it’s really only the 13th chapter of Revelation where that’s present. It begins with a letter to the reader, then describes cataclysmic events of the end times John says he saw in a series of visions.
It’s in Revelation (13:8) where “666” is mentioned—the only time in the Bible: “Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” Doing a bit of quick math, in which a score is 20, the number adds up to 666. Whoever is represented by this number then, the text indicates, is pure evil.
The holiday may not be familiar to you, but the customs certainly are.
Martin of Tours seemed like a decent guy. Legend has it that in the 4th century, he gave up his job as an elite soldier in the Roman army to become a priest after helping out a beggar one night. He ultimately became a bishop, and a pacifist devoted to spreading peace, love, (and Christianity) across western Europe.
He was sainted shortly after his death, and his feast day is November 11, marking the day he was buried in 397. Though obscure in the U.S., St. Martin’s Day is widely celebrated in Europe, making it one of the oldest continuously observed holidays in the world.
The customs vary by location, and many are reminiscent of American customs for other holidays:
• In Belgium and the Netherlands, St. Martin’s Day is celebrated much more like Halloween. Children make paper lanterns and, once its dark, go door-to-door in search of candy. Instead of saying “trick or treat,” they sing songs or recite poems about St. Martin. In some communities, the search for candy begins at a local church and the kids are marched through the streets with a horseback actor dressed as Saint Martin leading the way. Afterward, there’s often a bonfire in a large public square and everybody eats pretzels.
All about the most famous, prominent, symbolic, and revered
flower in the Western world: the rose.
• Humans began cultivating roses only about 5,000 years ago, in China and the Far East. But they’ve been used and enjoyed by humans for much longer than that. Ancient Egyptian mummies have been discovered wearing rose wreaths. Fossilized rose remnants have been found that date back 35 million years.
• A rosebush blooms on the wall of Hildesheim Cathedral in Germany. It started growing at about the same time the church was built, around 1010, making it the oldest living rosebush on the planet.
• In the early 1800s, Empress Josephine of France engineered the first modern-day “rose garden.” She had a lofty goal—a sample of every rose variety in the world. Her gardens at the Malmaison château housed 250 varieties of roses—helped along by a standing order to the French Navy to confiscate any rose plants or seeds found on enemy ships.
• Josephine’s garden made rose growing and collecting very popular in western Europe. In the mid-1800s, gardeners figured out how to crossbreed roses, to combine, for example, one rose’s color with another’s heartiness. The first major hybrid rose: “La France,” developed by grower Jean-Baptiste Andre Guillot in 1867. Today there are over 10,000 hybrid rose varieties.
• While it probably didn’t have every rose in the world, Josephine’s was the largest rose collection in the world until the opening and rapid growth of the Europa-Rosarium in Sangerhausen, Germany, in 1902. As of 2013, it houses 75,000 rose varieties.
Ink-and-paint brick-and-mortar in the flesh and blood!
The Simpsons house (Henderson, Nevada)
In the mid-’90s, a group of video game designers at Fox Interactive teamed-up with an architect to construct a replica of the Simpsons’ home. The 2,200-square-foot house was completed in 1997 and it originally contained many features and decorations in order to make it look exactly like the one on The Simpsons—albeit in three dimensions. There was even a sailboat painting over the couch, and corncob curtains in the kitchen window, and some Duff Beers in the fridge.
The house, placed in a quiet neighborhood in a suburb of Las Vegas, was later given away in a contest, but the winner opted for a $75,000 cash prize instead of the house. More than 30,000 people visited the house in 1997 (including Simpsons creator Matt Groening who signed one of the walls with purple paint), but neighbors weren’t too pleased with all the tourist traffic. The house was repainted and most of the details related to the show were removed before it was sold in 2001.
The new NBA season has begun, so here’s a statistical survey of sports sizes.
Tallest: Romanian-born Gheorghe Muresan center, at 7’7”. He came to the NBA after playing professionally in France. Drafted by the Washington Bullets in 1993, he averaged a respectable 9.8 points over his seven-year NBA career, as well as 1.5 blocks. However, Muresan is probably best known for his of-court activities—he starred in the 1998 movie My Giant with Billy Crystal (Muresan played the giant).
Shortest: Tyrone “Muggsy” Bogues played in the NBA from 1987 to 2001, despite being just 5’3” tall. Being small in the NBA means being fast, and Bogues was adept at assists and steals—he’s the Charlotte Hornets’ all-time leader in both categories.
Biggest: Featuring players who are routinely more than seven feet tall, the NBA is naturally going to have players who weigh a lot. However, only 12 players in league history have ever weighed more than 300 pounds. Among that group are Jerome “Big Snacks” James, Robert “Tractor” Traylor, and Charles Barkley. The heaviest player in NBA history: Oliver Miller, who played for five teams in the 1990s and weighed 375 pounds.
A low-tech/high-tech cure for the winter blues for a city that is is cut off from direct sunlight for five to six months a year.
As the days grow shorter and the nights get colder, a little sunshine can be hard to come by. It’s especially true in Rjukan, a small town in Norway. Because of a nearby, imposing mountain chain, the area doesn’t receive any direct sunlight from September until March.
Seven months of near darkness can get anybody down, as well as deprived of Vitamin D. Fortunately for the residents of Rjukan, there’s a high-tech cure for the wintertime blues.
Nearly seven months of that kind of gloom can get anybody down, even Vitamin D deprived Norwegians that are accustomed to harsh winters. Fortunately for the residents of Rjukan, there’s a solution. At a cost of 5 million Norwegian Kroner (roughly $841,000 in US dollars), three 183-square foot mirrors were installed on a cliff overlooking the town. On clear days – which are unable to discern from the ground in Rjukan – the mirrors reflect the sunlight down into the town square.
Sometimes the band includes more than just the guys on stage. Here’s a look at rock music’s most notable band members…who aren’t really part of the band.
Hugh McDonald, Invisible Bassist
Jon Bon Jovi assembled his hard rock band, Bon Jovi, in 1983, which included bassist Hugh McDonald, who played on the group’s first single “Runaway.” The song was a local hit, and when the group got a record deal, Bon Jovi replaced some of his band members, including McDonald, with a new bass player, Alec John Such. Except…he really didn’t. Such was credited as the bass player on five multi-million-selling Bon Jovi albums, but it was really McDonald who was playing. Why was Such, who was reportedly not as accomplished a musician as McDonald, presented as Bon Jovi’s bassist? McDonald was a decade older than Jon Bon Jovi, Such, and the other members of the band. When the band became teen idols in the 1980s, youth (and youthful looks) were important, and McDonald didn’t fit that profile. In 1994, McDonald “replaced” Such, both in concert and on record.
The answers to those things you think about while you wait for your tank to fill up.
Why are gas prices listed with a “9/10” afterward?
Because they make more money that way. The price for a gallon of gas listed, $3.49 9/10, is rounded up to the next penny. But most customers don’t pay any attention to that fraction, focusing instead on the standard three-digit price, falling for a classic psychological trick that makes customers think they’re paying slightly less for something than they really are. It’s the same psychology behind why things that cost 99 cents “feel” so much cheaper than something that costs $1.
The fractional pricing practice began during the Great Depression. To save money, people were driving less, and the demand for gasoline. Gas station chains introduced premiums to attract customers, such as free glasses, candy, and ashtrays, for example. Another way a gas station could differentiate itself from the competition: lower prices. Undercutting the other guy by even a fraction of a cent was enough to lure customers. The 9/10th became permanent in the 1970s. During that decade’s oil crisis and subsequent gas shortage, the federal government stepped in to regulate gas prices, setting them with elaborate but precise formulas, which often ended in 9/10ths. The idea simply became a part of American life after that.
Today is Halloween, but the tricks started yesterday with Devil’s Night.
Falling on October 30th, Devil’s Night is also known as “Mischief Night,” “Cabbage Night,” or “Hell Night.” No matter what it’s called, it’s probably the nastiest holiday in Europe and North America.
Serving as a mean-spirited counterpart to the more innocent traditions of Halloween, Devil’s Night is celebrated by pulling pranks instead of “tricks.” It’s also a lot newer than the medieval festivals that gave way to Halloween. Devil’s Night began in 1790 as Mischief Night. A headmaster of St. John’s College at Oxford put on a play, followed by an “Ode to Fun,” which encouraged students to play pranks (like throwing cabbages at houses). Students obliged and it became an annual tradition…in early May. In the 19th century, the night switched to the evening prior to Guy Fawkes Day, and finally settled on October 30th around the turn of the 20th century, which is also when the holiday spread to the U.S., particularly Detroit.
Typically, the pranks are as harmless as covering a neighbor’s tree in toilet paper or smashing a few pumpkins. Things started getting out of hand in the ‘70s. In Detroit, Devil’s Night is marked by acts of major vandalism, property damage, and even arson. In 1984, for example, more than 800 fires were reported.
Sometimes creative accounting pays off. Here are a few examples of
weird sports contracts throughout history.
Heir Jordan
Unlike their counterparts in the big leagues, the average first-year minor league baseball players is paid about $1,100 a month. But not Michael Jordan. After retiring from a spectacular basketball career in 1993 to give pro baseball a try, Jordan signed with the farm system of the Chicago White Sox. At the time, the White Sox organization was owned by Jerry Reinsdorf, who also owned Jordan’s old basketball team, the Chicago Bulls. Sensing that Jordan might come back to the NBA some day if baseball didn’t work out (it didn’t), Reinsdorf paid Jordan $4 million in 1994 and 1995 to play minor league baseball, the same he would’ve been paid had he stayed in the NBA.
Halloween is Uncle John’s favorite holiday. Why? It’s the one day of the year he looks “normal!” Here’s a quick history of Halloween.
ANCIENT ORIGIN
The ancient Celts in the British Isles celebrated their new year on November 1. Their New Year’s festival was called Samhain (pronounced sow-wen), which means “summer’s end.” Early Christians adopted the festival in the seventh century A.D., making November 1 a celebration of saints and martyrs—hence the name All Saints’ Day or All Hallows’ Day. (Hallow comes from an Old English word meaning “holy.”) The night before All Saints’ Day was known as All Hallows’ Even (evening)— which was shortened to “Hallowe’en.”
ANCIENT MYSTERY
What’s Halloween’s connection to ghosts and costumes? No one’s sure, but historians offer these three possibilites.
Theory #1: The Ghosts Are Hungry!
On All Hallows’ Eve, evil spirits roamed the Earth in wild celebration, ready to greet the arrival of “their season”— the cold dark winter. And just for fun, they liked to frighten mortals. One way for scared humans to escape the demons was to offer them food and sweets. Another way was to dress up like spirits and roam around with them…hopefully going unnoticed. “That is what the ancient Celts did,” explains Francis X. Weiser in The Handbook of Christian Feasts and Customs, “and it is in this very form that the custom has come to us.”
How a forgettable pop song became a priceless collector’s item—“American Memories” is the rarest 45 of a song to have ever made the Billboard pop chart.
Richard Doyle was a standup comedian from Los Angeles who hosted a show on local TV called Comic Talk, where he interviewed other comedians that were part of that city’s rising comedy scene. Doyle was also a musician—in 1973, under the name “Shamus M’Cool,” his Christmas novelty song “Santa’s Little Helper, Dingo” hit #11 on Billboard’s seasonal holiday music chart.
That was the only musical success Doyle had had, but in 1981, he decided to revive his musical career, as well as the “Shamus M’Cool” stage name. He recorded a country rock song called “American Memories,” which wasn’t a comic novelty song at all—it was a look back on triumphant, proud memories in American history. (The B-side: “American Humor,” six-minutes of Ronald Reagan jokes from Doyle’s comedy act, recorded live at the Playboy Club.)
The leaves are changing color, the air is getting crisp, and everything at the grocery store suddenly has pumpkin in it, whether it works or not. It must be fall!
If you’ve been inside a grocery store or restaurant in the last couple of weeks, you’ve probably noticed the proliferation of pumpkin-flavored items. It’s been slowly building to cultural phenomenon levels since 2003. That’s when Starbucks introduced the Pumpkin Spice Latte—coffee, milk, and a syrup flavored with pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sugar. More than 200 million of the drinks have sold in the past 10 years, prompting other food manufacturers and sellers to unveil their own pumpkin-flavored concoctions. And it’s working: pumpkin products rake in more than $290 million every autumn.
Stuff you didn’t think needed to be improved…just got a little bit better.
A better iPod
Introduced in 2001, Apple’s iPod revolutionized the way people listen to music—thanks to this and other digital music players, thousands of songs are stored as computer files on a pocket-sized device. But there’s one group who doesn’t like the easy access to music offered by the iPod: audiophiles. In order to get that much music on an iPod, the files are compressed, leading to some loss of layers and nuances in recordings. But a new high-definition, high-sound-quality music player called Pono is on the way—and it was invented by legendary rock star Neil Young. “We’ve liberated the music of the artist from the digital file and restored it to is original artistic quality, as it was in the studio,” Young wrote on Pono’s facebook page. Young announced the Pono player on The Late Show With David Letterman in 2012, and recently said that the player will be for sale in early 2014.
More convenient soup
One of the most popular new kitchen appliances in the past new years is the single-cup coffeemaker—17 million American homes and offices now have them. Keurig is the industry leader in these devices, which brew one cup of coffee—or tea, or hot chocolate—at a time. Consumers buy packages of individual “K-cups” full of ground coffee, which is placed in a chamber in the machine, where it’s then steeped in hot water, producing a hot beverage in about a minute. In September 2013, Keurig owner Green Mountain Coffee Roasters announced that it had made a deal with Campbell’s to produce K-cups…of soup. In 2014, consumers will be able to buy the two-step soup kits: a K-cup full of dried broth is placed in the machine. Hot water turns the dried broth into liquid broth, which is then poured over an included pack of noodles.
Nothing like a dose of irony to keep your day-to-day problems in perspective.
Ironic spokesman. The image of popular stand-up comedian Larry the Cable Guy adorns lots of products—he’s even got his own line of snack chips as well as boxed dinner mixes, including cheesy mashed potatoes, beer bread, cheeseburger macaroni, and fried chicken batter. These obviously aren’t health foods. More than that, overindulgence in these kinds of foods can lead to heartburn. Fortunately, you can take a pill for that, such as Prilosec OTC. What celebrity endorses Prilosec OTC in TV commercials? Larry the Cable Guy.
Ironic refund. Beginning in 2001, the Walt Disney Company distributed a line of educational videos for babies called Baby Einstein. The 30-minute videos of puppet shows, abstract images, nature footage, and famous works of art, were scored to a classical music soundtrack and interspersed were vocabulary segments to help babies learn new words. In 2009, Disney offered refunds to parents who had purchased Baby Einstein videos after a 2007 study found that watching TV and videos as an infant may inhibit brain development. Another study showed that kids who regularly watched Baby Einstein videos actually learned fewer words by kindergarten that those who hadn’t watched the tapes.
