Author: Uncle John

Fruit Brute and Other Forgotten Cereals

Wheaties and Rice Krispies have taken up permanent residency in America’s breakfast bowls—these forgotten cereals, not so much.

Fruite Brute and Other Forgotten CerealsFruit Brute: General Mills debuted a line of five monster cereals in the 1970s: Franken Berry, Yummy Mummy, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Fruit Brute. The biggest flop of the bunch: Fruit Brute. But it has a cool factor—filmmaker Quentin Tarantino collects old cereals, and his personal box of Fruit Brute has appeared in his movies Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. BREAKING NEWS: This Fall we will see the return of Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy for Halloween. This may be the best Halloween EVER!

Graham Crackos: Kellogg’s released this graham-cracker-flavored cereal in the late-1970s, a few years before the crack-cocaine epidemic that hit American cities. In light of this, old commercials for Crackos become unsettling. In one, a character named George arrives at a suburban house to deliver a box of Crackos to a new family. In the background, a cheery balladeer sings, “Something new is comin’ to town, George the Milkman is bringin’ it ’round.” After the mother takes a bite, she asks George if the cereal will help slow her kids down. “Long enough for them to eat,” he replies.

Weird Invention: Dumb USB Gadgets

USB Gadgets Pet RockPet Rock: The item that became synonymous with the whimsical and gullible 1970s has returned! Only now, it’s high-tech. In the spirit of the original, it does nothing; plugging it into your computer’s USB port doesn’t even draw any power away.

 

 

USB Gadgets Squirming TentacleSquirming Tentacle: People will think an octopus or the fictional alien monster Cthulhu has taken control of your laptop when they see a moving tentacle coming out of a USB port. Unlike the Pet Rock, at least it moves.

Uncle John’s Funniest Ever Giveaway!

8/26/13 UPDATE

Winners are: Don J., Eric W., Craig G., Terry D., and Valerie. You have all been contacted via email.

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Another box of advances has just arrived at the office. This one is for Uncle John’s Funniest Ever Bathroom Reader. The book will be available mid October, but we are giving away a copy each to 5 lucky winners (scroll to the bottom of this page to fill out the entry form). Also, as a bonus, here is an article from the book.

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Uncle John's Funniest EverCRAZY WORLD RECORDS

Uncle John holds the world record for the most pages ever read on the throne.
Here are some other dubious achievements.

Christian Adam of Germany set the distance record for riding a bicycle backward while playing the violin: 37.5 miles. It took him a little more than five hours. He played J. S. Back…er, Bach.

On May 6, 2009, Eric “No Class” Matyjasik of Arizona unzipped his pants 162 times in 30 seconds, breaking the old record by 27 zips.

The unofficial world record for staying awake: 18 days, 17 hours, set by Maureen Weston of England while participating in a rocking-chair marathon. Although she hallucinated quite a bit, she says she hasn’t suffered any long-term health effects.

Naya Ganj of India has the world’s longest ear hair. “Making it onto Guinness is special for my family! God has been very kind to me!” said the guy with 5.25 inches of hair growing from his ears.

It’s a Fake!

The moral of this story could be “Don’t believe everything you read,” because not only do writers make occasional mistakes, some writers intentionally insert fictitious facts into their works of non-fiction.

Fake FactsAuthors or publishers have a lot of reasons for inserting the occasional fake fact in an otherwise rigorously researched reference book—they may be laying a “copyright trap” to see if anybody uses their book without giving credit. Or sometimes they just do it because it’s fun to trick people.

FAKE SONG. Joel Whitburn compiles music chart history books based on Billboard’s many charts, which go back to the 1930s. A number of his books note a very obscure song called “The Song of Love” recorded by bandleader Ralph Marterie. Whitburn says the song debuted and peaked at #84 on the pop chart for the week of December 26, 1955. However, Marterie never recorded “The Song of Love.” Nor did Billboard put out a chart the week of December 26, 1955. Whitburn included it to track just how far and by whom his research goes. (Ralph Marterie, however, was a real bandleader and made several recordings in the 1950s.)

Odd Holiday: Chinese Valentine’s Day

It’s almost August 13: Have you bought your Magpie Festival face powder yet?

Chinese Valentine's DayThe Western holiday of Valentine’s Day has its roots in a martyred Catholic priest who performed marriages when they were illegal. It also incorporates elements of Roman mythology, particularly Cupid, the Roman god of love.

China operates from different historical and mythological traditions, so it celebrates Chinese Valentine’s Day in a completely different way and at a completely different time. Instead of February 14, China has the Qixi Festival, or the Magpie Festival, celebrated in the summer, and this year it’s on August 13.

The Wonderful World of Disneyland

Disneyland facts: amazing things you probably never knew about the Happiest Place on Earth.

Disneyland Facts• The park has a large security force. It’s mostly undercover…but there are more Disney security officers than there are police officers in the adjacent city of Anaheim.

• Employee slang for being a costumed character: “duck duty.”

• In the Toy Story movies, the toys would all freeze and drop to the ground when their human owner Andy was approaching. If you yell “Andy’s coming!” when costumed Toy Story characters are out and about…they will freeze and drop to the ground.

Weird Invention: The Hovercraft Golf Cart

The new golf carts at a course in Ohio are a bit different than the old ones—for one thing, they fly.

Hovercraft Golf CartMost golfers dread hitting a water hazard, or hate to maneuver their golf carts around sand traps and other obstacles. But not the golfers at the Windy Knoll Golf Club in Springfield, Ohio. This summer, the course is unveiling two new hovercraft golf carts for their customers to use instead of the more conventional golf carts.

Windy Knoll will become the first course in America to offer BW1 Hovercraft Golf Carts. After seeing a video of PGA tour veteran (and 2012 Masters champion) Bubba Watson buzzing around in a prototype, the club’s management decided that hovercrafts were the future of golf, and that the future is now.

Secretary of Feedback (The Electras)

Richard Nixon played piano. Bill Clinton played sax. But it was a losing presidential candidate that may have made rock n’ roll history…accidentally.

the electrasThe Electras were one of thousands of garage rock bands formed by American high school kids in the early 1960s. More than 13 different guys played in the Concord, New Hampshire, band, all attending St. Paul’s School, an all-boys academy. One of the longest-serving members was bassist, future senator, current Secretary of State, and 2004 presidential candidate John Kerry.

In late 1961, the Electras recorded an album of ten songs, mostly covers of well-known rock and pop songs like “Sleepwalk” and “Summertime Blues.” Only 500 copies were ever pressed, intended for friends and family—in 2004 a copy sold for more than $2,500 on eBay. That was the only thing the Electras ever recorded…until former band member Larry Rand discovered a reel-to-reel recording of the band playing live at a dance at the all-girls Concord Academy in October 1961.

Fabulous Flop: How Howard the Duck Changed Hollywood

George Lucas’ first big post-Star Wars project was an adaptation of a little-known comic book. Here’s the story of how Howard the Duck almost destroyed his career…
but led to the creation of a Hollywood goldmine.

In 1983, George Lucas released Return of the Jedi, the final movie in the Star Wars trilogy, one of the most financially successful and popular film series of all time. But how would he follow it up? In 1985, Lucas announced that he was producing a movie adaptation of the Marvel Comics cult comic book Howard the Duck.

Today, Marvel movies are hot Hollywood properties—this year’s Iron Man 3 and last year’s The Avengers are among the top 20 highest-grossing films of all time. But the very first Marvel property to be made into a movie was Howard the Duck. It was about a humanoid duck from outer space living on Earth, and he was crass, rude, and sexist. Lucas had been trying to get a movie of it made since the mid-’70s, but no studio was interested. After the success of Star Wars, Lucas could make whatever he wanted and Universal readily agreed to distribute Howard the Duck. They needed a big movie for the summer of 1986, and they were still smarting from passing on the Indiana Jones movies, which Lucas had produced and which were distributed by rival Paramount.

A Brand New State? The 51st State

There are fifty nifty United States…but who might be the 51st state? We don’t know, of course, but here are some real possibilities.

51st statePuerto Rico? Puerto Rico sends a representative to Congress (although they don’t get to vote, and its residents pay federal income tax and may join the U.S. Armed Forces. Puerto Ricans are classified as U.S. citizens, but cannot vote in a presidential election. Reason: The island is a U.S. territory, not a state. At least not yet. In 2012, the island held a referendum regarding statehood. A whopping 61 percent of voters said they were in favor of becoming the 51st state, and legislation was drawn up and sent to President Obama and Congress in May 2013.

Legal Thriller: Michael Jackson vs. Paul McCartney vs. Sesame Street Parodies

The story of how Michael Jackson ruined a friendship but saved Sesame Street in the process.

One of the reasons why Sesame Street has remained on the air for more than 40 years is because it appeals both to young children and the parents who watch it with them. And because producers know parents are watching, the show features guest appearances from stars that kids wouldn’t know but adults would, like Tina Fey or Jon Hamm, and educational songs that are parodies of well-known pop songs. In the ‘70s, for example, “Bruce Stringbean and the S. Street Band” performed “Born to Add,” a parody of Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run.”

Food Facts: A Non-Vanilla Source of Vanilla

In the very near future, we might get vanilla from a source that sounds pretty gross, but is also incredibly environmentally friendly.

Do you love the way old books smell—musty and slightly smoky, but just a little bit spicy and sweet? (It’s what the BRI Headquarters smells like…really!) There’s actually a technical explanation for old book smell. It’s comes from a chemical called lignin, which is found in wood pulp. Wood pulp is used to make paper, and in that process, lignin gets exposed to air, or oxidizes. The oxygen in the air starts a chemical reaction in the lignin, and creates another chemical, called vanillin, which is one of the main compounds in vanilla. Old books smell slightly like vanilla, which scientists say is one of the most pleasing scents to the human nose.

There are only a few ways to get vanilla. The first and most obvious source is the vanilla bean or pod. But they’re relatively rare (growing mostly only on the island of Madagascar) and, of course, expensive—vanilla beans cost about a dollar each in stores. Another way is to synthesize it in an industrial laboratory. Vanilla flavor can be obtained from a chemical combination of sodium hydroxide and sodium sulphide, or by processing a petroleum-based chemical called guaiacol.

Uncle John's KID-TOPIA Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wins ForeWord Awards

We are please to announced that we were honored at the ForeWord Reviews 2012 Book of the Year Awards.

Uncle John's KID-TOPIA Bathroom Reader for Kids Only!Uncle John’s KID-TOPIA Bathroom Reader For Kids Only! won Bronze in the Juvenile Nonfiction category.

Uncle John’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader got an Honorable Mention in the Humor category.

Uncle John’s The Enchanted Toilet Bathroom Reader for Kids Only! was a finalist in the Juvenile Nonfiction category.

The ForeWord Awards program was designed to discover books from independent publishers across a number of genres. The final selections are made by librarians and booksellers based on their experiences with patrons and readers. Drawn from entries representing more than 600 publishers, the winners are selected after months of deliberation. This year there were 1,300 entries in 62 categories. Awards were determined by librarians and booksellers and announced at a special program at the American Library Association Annual Conference in Chicago on June 28, 2013.

Congrats to the whole team and to all our fans!

Almost Famous

What if you were a talented musician, so good that you got a record. Now, what if you had a relative that was also good…but maybe a little bit better, and they got incredibly famous? Here are a the stories of the almost famous.

STEVE YOUNG

Starfighters were a British heavy metal band that formed in the late ‘70s. Despite having released one single called “I’m Falling” that didn’t sell very well, they were signed by the manager of the popular British heavy metal group Krokus and got a spot as the opening act on tour for AC/DC in 1981, one of the world’s most popular bands at the time. How did they pull that off? The Starfighters’ lead guitarist, Steve Young, is the nephew of Angus and Malcolm Young of AC/DC. Starfighters released two albums in the ’80s, and when Uncle Malcolm briefly left AC/DC in 1988 to check into alcohol rehab, Steve Young filled his spot. What did Starfighters sound like? If songs like “Alley Cat Blues” are any indication…a lot like AC/DC.

An Odd Holiday: Aunt and Uncle’s Day

Finally, a holiday just for Uncle John. And Mrs. Uncle John! Happy Aunt and Uncle’s Day!

You’re familiar with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and hardworking moms and dads certainly do deserve their holidays. There’s a National Grandparents Day (it’s in September, and not widely celebrated). And in 2001, President Bush declared June 4 “National Children’s Day.” (Although Uncle John’s mom always said “everyday is children’s day”…with a groan.)

But what about the people who don’t have kids of their own but positively worship their brothers’ and sisters’ kids? Where is the day of recognition for the loyal souls who send birthday cards with a $10 bill tucked inside and who “like” all of the niece and nephew baby pics on Facebook?

Aunt and Uncle’s DayAunt and Uncle’s Day is finally here. This still-unofficial holiday falls on the last Friday of July—right in the middle of family vacation road trips to visit relatives—and this year, that’s today. Oddly, very little information seems to exist on who came up with Aunt and Uncle’s Day. A petition on Facebook to make it an officially recognized holiday on par with Mother’s Day or Father’s Day has only around 100 likes as of press time. But even though Hallmark doesn’t sell Aunt and Uncle’s Day cards, and no retail chain is urging you to buy the perfect gift for your fun uncle or cool aunt, you can still make a phone call…or send a card with a $10 bill tucked inside.

Thomas Edison vs. The Elephant

In 1903, Thomas Edison used 6,600 volts of electricity to kill an elephant. Why? Because he was kind of a jerk. But more than that, he was concerned about losing the “War of Currents” to his rival, George Westinghouse.

Thomas Edison ElephantBy the beginning of the 20th century, electricity was spreading to homes and businesses across America. The preferred method was AC, or “alternating current” electricity, devised by entrepreneur George Westinghouse. One guy not too happy about that: Thomas Edison, who came up with DC, or “direct current” electricity. Edison was still unwilling to accept his defeat and wanted to stage a publicity stunt to prove that his method was the superior method.

Edison went about promoting DC power, and showing that it was safe and effective, in a very bizarre way—he’d publicly electrocute animals. Through the 1890s and into the 1900s, Edison killed cats, horses, an orangutan, and once helped the state of New York execute a convicted ax murderer.

Beep Me! (Beeper Codes)

Before email, cell phones, and text messaging, people had to instantly communicate with beepers. And a secret language of beeper codes.

Beeper codesFrom the mid-‘90s to the early 2000s, before cell phones became ubiquitous, the best, cheapest way for parents to keep track of their teenagers, and for teenagers to keep track of each other, were beepers, or pagers. Here’s how it worked: From any phone, you’d dial a friend’s beeper number. They’d receive a simple text message on their pager’s display: your number, and any other numbers you wanted to include. For example: “911” would mean “call me right now – it’s an emergency.”

From that spawned a new language of beeper codes. Those little coded messages became both a shorthand, a way to actually communicate via the very limited capacity of a pager, and also a way to shut out uninformed, nosey parents. Here are some of those old beeper codes. (While some of them make perfect sense, others seem quite random. But who can understand these kids today…or yesterday?)

Weird Invention: Hot Toilet!

As we can all agree, the toilet is mankind’s greatest achievement. But even perfection can be improved upon. Maybe it is time to reinvent the toilet.

reinvent the toiletA team comprised of researchers from Duke University and the University of Missouri are hard at work on a project that could forever change toilets as we now know them. Based around a technology called “supercritical water oxygenation,” the team is building a toilet that can convert human waste into heat…and clean water.

Here’s how it works. After receiving a “deposit” of “fresh waste material,” the toilet heats a small amount of water to an extremely high temperature (over 700°F.). Organic substances dissolve, and what’s left of the waste is heat, carbon dioxide, and water. It’s not quite potable (and we’re not sure we’d drink it even if it was), but that water—which was otherwise flushed away forever—can be used for everything from showering to washing dishes.

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