We’re working very hard on our next, too-exciting book…and we keep finding stuff like this…
P.S. Bjork.
Update: Apparently this video doesn’t play for many of you. So here’s a swimming clam:
February 21, 2012
We’re working very hard on our next, too-exciting book…and we keep finding stuff like this…
P.S. Bjork.
Update: Apparently this video doesn’t play for many of you. So here’s a swimming clam:
February 14, 2012
We were going to post something about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre – but we got all soft and squishy. (Could have been the marshmallow and rum toddies we had for lunch.)
From our very recently released Uncle John’s 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader (page 190):
TOGETHER AGAIN
It was 1921. In a one-room schoolhouse in rural Wisconsin, two third-graders became “sweethearts.” But after the school year ended, Mac McKitrick and Lorraine Beatty lost contact with each other…for 85 years. Then, in 2009, they were reunited through family members (their brothers had become friends). The two lovebirds instantly remembered each other and picked up right where they left off: McKitrick proposed, Beatty said yes, and the newlyweds moved in with each other at an Illinois retirement home. “I still picture Lorraine as my third-grade sweetheart,” said McKitrick. “I’ve carried that in the back of my mind for all those years.”
January 16, 2012
GotMedieval.com, the very cool blog of Carl S. Pyrdum, III, “a graduate student in Medieval Studies at Yale University, who is currently living in Atlanta, GA, while he finishes his dissertation and looks for a proper academic job,” has a post up under the title, “The Medieval Origins of the Bathroom Reader,” with this image:
And this note (with his link):
One final detail I love: the top figure is drawn as though he’s reading the text in front of him, as is often the case with the more scatologically-minded marginal dwellers. Reading while enthroned is a habit with a far more ancient pedigree than you might have guessed.
Heh heh. We knew it was, Carl, we knew it was.
And: Mr. Pyrdum notes that he does not know the origin of the image, and asks his readers – and now our readers – if they have any idea. Any Medieval scholars out there? …
January 7, 2012
This is one of our newer books, Uncle John’s True Crime. It’s a collection of stories we’ve printed over many years, along with some brand new ones, all of them involving crime in one way or another. For those days you just want a real crimey read, y’know?
Here’s one of the lighter-hearted examples:
CRIMINAL HEADLINES
Calling the grammar cops: It’s these headline writers
who should have been brought up on charges.Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Man Robs, Then Kills Himself
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Mayor Says D.C. is Safe Except For Murders
Man, Shot Twice in Head, Gets Mad
Deadline Passes For Striking Police
Cockroach Slain, Husaband Badly Hurt
Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete
Hostage Taker Kills Self; Police Shoot Each Other
Potential Witness to Murder Drunk
Prosecutors Release Probe Into Undersheriff
Bomb Hit by Library
Robber Holds up Albert’s Hosiery
Multiple Personality Rapist Sentenced to Two Life Terms
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges
Man Found Dead in Cemetary
Bar Trying to Help Alcoholoic Lawyers
Defendant’s Speech Ends in Long Sentence
42 percent of All Murdered Women Are Killed by the Same Man
Silent Teamster Gets Cruel Punishment: Lawyer
Two convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
January 6, 2012
Oh we’re just blushing from our ducktails to our wingtips. Look at the opening paragraph to this story and see if anything stand-out-ish , you know, stands out:
Usually, when a consumer finds a human finger in their burger or whatever, the company just says, “We have no idea how that happened!” And then they settle out of court for a zillion dollars and nobody thinks of it outside of people who own Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.
Did you catch that? That bit at the end? Starts with “Uncle”? Yes? Well okay then.
That’s all. Enough about us. Tell us what you think about us…
December 23, 2011
Did you know you can send someone who doesn’t own a Kindle e-books from Amazon? That’s right: Amazon has FREE apps that allow you to read e-books on computers, phones, etc.
All you need is the giftees email. It’s so easy – and they’ll get the gift in time for Christmas.
And the gift can be Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader e-books!
Wow! It’s like it’s Christmas or something!
P.S. We have apps, too.
December 20, 2011
Okay, we’ve done A-D, now here’s E.
• E-Books
OMG! What a coincidence! You can gift Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader e-books right now over at Amazon! How weird! That’s totally coinci-mental!
Okay, it wasn’t a coincidence, we made that up as a clever way to get into this post. Not really that clever, though, huh? We’re sorry.
Where were we? Oh yeah. All you need is the giftee’s email address. It’s really easy.
And you don’t need to own a Kindle—and whoever you’re gifting doesn’t need a Kindle either, as Amazon has FREE apps that allow you to read books on other devices, like computers, and pads, and phones.
There are nine UJBR’s currently available as e-books. Here are the links, straight to Amazon:
Enjoy! And we hope your giftees enjoy then, too!
• You can’t gift an iBook from iTunes at this time. (We assume you’ll be able to at some point.)
December 18, 2011
I SPY…AT THE MOVIES
More fun in-jokes and cameos from the silver screen.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS (2000)
I Spy…E.T.’s living room
Where to Find It: Wearing nothing but a plastic blow-up swimming-pool toy, Dylan (Drew Barrymore) bursts into a house where two boys are playing a video game. It’s the same house in Tujunga, California, that was used for E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, the film that launched Barrymore’s career in 1982. (To hammer the point home, the kids are eating Reese’s Pieces and there’s an E.T. poster on the wall.)
That’s just one tiny excerpt from the brand new Uncle John’s 24-KARAT GOLD Bathroom Reader.
Find more secret movie cameos, and hundreds of other stories, in the great big book right above these words – at 30% off the usual price as part of our annual HOLIDAY SALE! And that’s 30% of ALL our books.
• And Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader eBooks and new and improved mobile app just became available.
• Past excerpts can be found by hitting “Excerpts” in the tags blow this post.
December 12, 2011
Over the past few weeks we’re published several excerpts from our very latest annual “Big John” publication, Uncle John’s 24-KARAT GOLD Bathroom Reader, a 544-page behemoth of mind-widening wonder. We brought you:
• The Playboy Playmate Edonomic Indicator
• and Obscure Fads of the 1960s: Piano Wrecking
Just to name a few.
Here’s one more. We think, we hope, you will like it.
HOW TO EAVESDROP ON THE ASTRONAUTS
The International Space Station is one of the wonders of our age, as large as a
football field and the third-brightest object in the sky after the sun and the
moon. Few of us will ever get to visit it, but you can listen in when
it’s passing overhead. It’s easier than you think.
HELLO DOWN THERE
On November 28, 1983, the space shuttle Columbia lifted off from Florida’s Kennedy Space Center for a 10-day mission. It was the ninth shuttle mission, and not a particularly memorable one…unless you’re a fan of amateur “ham” radio: It was the first time that an astronaut, mission specialist Owen Garriott, brought a ham radio into space.Whenever Garriott had some free time he’d point the radio’s antenna toward Earth and try to contact fellow ham operators on the ground. The radio was only a walkie-talkie tuned to ham radio frequencies, and it had just five watts of transmitting power—five percent of the power of a 100-watt bulb. Even so, Garriott was able to talk to more than 250 people, including some more than 1,000 miles away. An astronaut using a walkie-talkie to talk to people on the ground may not sound like a big deal, but it was the first time in history that ordinary citizens could talk to a person in space. Anyone with a ham radio license was welcome to try.
NOW HEAR THIS
Today it’s easier than ever to talk to astronauts in space. The International Space Station has its own ham radio station, five times more powerful than Garriott’s walkie-talkie. All you need to talk to the ISS is a ham radio license, and all that takes is a passing score of 26 on the 35-question multiple-choice license exam.But what if you don’t want to get a ham radio license? Listening to the astronauts is even easier than talking to them. No license is required: All you need is a radio or a police scanner that can tune to the 2-meter amateur radio band (144.00 MHz to 148.00 MHz). [...]
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
The trickiest part to listening to the ISS is figuring out when it is passing through your part of the sky, because that’s the only time its transmissions can be heard at your location. The ISS orbits Earth every 91 minutes, and depending on where you live, it should pass overhead at least a few times a day.Before the Internet, finding this information would have been difficult; today all you have to do is Google your way to any one of a number of satellite tracking websites, then enter your zip code to get a schedule of upcoming passes for your area. (NASA’s website lists only the passes when the ISS is likely to be visible in the sky.) It’s also possible to download satellite tracking software onto your computer and track the space station yourself. A schedule of ISS passes will contain the date, time, and length in minutes of each upcoming pass, plus its maximum elevation, or its highest point in the sky during the pass. If the ISS barely peeks over the horizon before dipping below it again, it will have a maximum elevation close to 0°. If it passes directly over your location, it will have a maximum elevation of 90°. [...]
TIMING IS EVERYTHING
The astronauts on the International Space Station use the radio to talk to schoolkids and other civic groups through a program called Amateur Radio on the Space Station (ARISS) (for more on this, see page 338). The NASA website posts the dates of scheduled ARISS contacts; if there are any scheduled for your area, that’s a great time to listen in. It’s not uncommon for the astronauts to talk to individual hams before and after scheduled events, so tune in early and keep listening after the scheduled contact has ended.The astronauts can also use the radio in their spare time, so it helps to try and figure out when that spare time is likely to occur. The ISS is usually on Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), which puts them eight hours ahead of the West Coast and five hours ahead of the East Coast. A typical ISS workday begins at 06:00 UTC, when the astronauts awaken from their night’s sleep. They start work at about 08:00, break for an hour lunch at 13:00 UTC, then continue working until about 19:30 UTC. They have two hours off until bedtime at 21:30. The astronauts are most likely to use the radio during their work breaks, before and after meals, and in the two hours before bedtime, so if after calculating the time difference between your location and UTC, you find a high-altitude pass of the ISS over your area at a time when the astronauts are likely to have some downtime, that is an excellent opportunity to listen for transmissions.
____________________
You can read the rest of “How to Eavesdrop on Astronauts,” as well as hundreds of other stories – in Uncle John’s 24-KARAT GOLD Bathroom Reader.
And you can get it at 30% off the usual price as part of our annual HOLIDAY SALE. (That’s 30% of ALL our books.)
• Past excerpts can be found by hitting “Excerpts” in the tags blow this post.
December 3, 2011
THE TUPPERWARE STORY
Today the word Tupperware is a generic term for any plastic food container
with a sealable lid. That’s thanks to two people: Earl Tupper, inventor
of the product that bears his name, and Brownie Wise, who has
been all but erased from the company’s history.BLACK GOLD
In the fall of 1945, a plastics manufacturer named Earl Tupper tried to place an order for plastic resin, one of the key ingredients in plastic, with the Bakelite Corporation. But the material was in short supply, and Bakelite couldn’t fill his order. When Tupper asked if they had anything else for him to work with, the company gave him a black, oily lump of polyethylene slag, a rubbery by-product of the petroleum refining process that collected at the bottom of oil barrels. Bakelite, makers of an early plastic by the same name, couldn’t find a use for the waste product, and neither could the chemical giant DuPont. Both companies had plenty of the stuff lying around. They told Tupper he could have as much as he wanted.Tupper spent months experimenting with different blends of polyethylene—“Poly-T,” as he called it—and molding them at different pressures and temperatures. He eventually came up with a process for forming it into brightly colored cups, bowls, and other household items. A year later he patented the idea that he’s most famous for: the “Tupperware seal,” which provided a spill-proof, airtight seal between Tupperware containers and their lids. (He borrowed the idea from paint-can lids.) Tupper called his first sealable container the “Wonderbowl.”
UNDER COVER
Today plastic containers with airtight lids are so common that it’s easy to forget just how revolutionary Tupperware was when it was introduced in the late 1940s. In those days, if you wanted to preserve food in the refrigerator, you could cover a dish with wax paper or foil. (Plastic wrap was still a few years away.) If you wanted something that you didn’t have to throw away after a few uses, you could cover the dish with a shower cap or a damp cloth. Glass containers were available, but they weren’t cheap. They weren’t airtight, either, and if you dropped them, they shattered into tiny, razor-sharp pieces—not a good thing during the post-war Baby Boom, when lots of households had small children underfoot. None of these options were very satisfactory. It was difficult to keep food fresh for more than a day or two, or to keep everything in the fridge from smelling like everything else in the fridge.BLACK SHEEP
And yet for all the advantages that Tupperware had to offer, it just sat on store shelves, even when Tupper promoted the launch with national advertising. Consumers just weren’t interested. Part of the problem with Tupperware was that a lot of consumers couldn’t figure out how to work the lids. Some people even returned their Tupperware, complaining that the lids didn’t fit. But the real problem with Tupperware was that it was made of plastic. In those very early days of the plastics revolution, the stuff had a bad reputation: Many early plastics were oily; some were flammable. (They were smelly, too. One of the main ingredients in Bakelite was formaldehyde—the main ingredient in embalming fluid.) Some plastics were brittle and prone to chipping and cracking; others peeled, disintegrated, or “melted” and became deformed in hot water.Tupperware didn’t have any of these problems—it was odorless, non-toxic, lightweight. It was sturdy yet flexible and kept its shape in hot water. And if you dropped it, it bounced without spilling its contents. But consumers didn’t know all that, and they were so turned off by earlier plastics that they didn’t bother to find out.
SILVER LINING
As Earl Tupper pored over the dismal sales figures, he noticed that Tupperware was popular with two types of customers: 1) mental hospitals, which preferred Tupperware cups and dishes to aluminum because they didn’t dent or make noise when patients threw them on the floor; and 2) independent salespeople who sold goods distributed by Stanley Home Products, one of the companies that pioneered the “party plan” sales method.Stanley salespeople hawked their wares by recruiting a house- wife to host a party for her friends and acquaintances. At the party, the salesperson demonstrated Stanley products—mops, brushes, cleaning products, etc.—in the hopes of selling some to the guests. Quite a few companies still sell goods using the home party system, and if you’ve ever been invited to such a party, you probably know that they aren’t always the most pleasant of experiences. A lot of people attend only out of guilt or a sense of obligation to the host and buy just enough merchandise to avoid embarrassment. The same was true in the late 1940s: People could buy cleaning products anywhere, which made it kind of irritating to have to sit through a Stanley demonstration just because a friend had invited them. Even the Stanley salespeople knew it, and that was why growing numbers of them were adding Tupperware to their Stanley offerings.
LIFE OF THE PARTY
Tupperware was no mop or bottle of dish soap. It was something new, a big improvement over the products that had come before it. Once the salesperson explained its advantages and demonstrated how the lids worked—they had to be “burped” to expel excess air and form a proper seal—people were eager to buy it. They bought a lot of it, too: Tupperware sold so well at home parties that many Stanley salespeople were abandoning the company entirely and selling nothing but Tupperware.One of the most successful of the ex-Stanley salespeople was a woman named Brownie Wise. By the early 1950s, she was ordering more than $150,000 worth of Tupperware a year for the sizable home party sales force she’d built up, this at a time when Earl Tupper couldn’t sell Tupperware in department stores no matter how hard he tried. In April 1951, he hired Wise and made her a vice president of a brand-new division called Tupperware Home Parties, headquartered in Kissimmee, Florida. (Tupper remained in Leominster, Massachusetts, overseeing the company’s manufacturing and product design.) Brownie’s new job was to build the company’s sales force, just as she’d been so successful building her own.
Tupper also pulled Tupperware from department stores. From then on, if you wanted to buy Tupperware (or any plastic container with an airtight lid, since Tupper controlled the patent), you had to buy it from a “Tupperware lady.” …
That’s another excerpt from the brand new Uncle John’s 24-KARAT GOLD Bathroom Reader. You can get the rest of that story (there’s much more, including how Tupper and Wise fell out), and hundreds of other stories – at 30% off the usual price as part of our annual HOLIDAY SALE! And that’s 30% of ALL our books.
• Past excerpts can be found by hitting “Excerpts” in the tags blow this post.
[pic]
C.S. Lewis received more than 800 rejection letters before selling his first book.