Here is a special nod to our friends north of the border. May you have a fantastic Canada Day. There is no better way to celebrate than to learn more about Canada. Here is a story from Uncle John’s Fast-Acting, Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader.
Canada: land of beautiful mountains, clear lakes…and some really weird news reports.
Health inspectors in Granby, Quebec, shut down the Comme Chez Soi restaurant in 2000 when the owners were caught re-serving foods such as tartar sauce, coleslaw, bread, and fondue that had been discarded from previous customers’ plates.
They’d even used bread slices with bites out of them to make bread crumbs. They were also caught reusing discarded food from rooms in a motel they owned. (Comme chez soi means “just like home.”)
STEP RIGHT UP
In 2005 the Canadian postal service notified Christine Charbonneau of Orleans, Ontario, that they would no longer be delivering mail to her door. Reason: her front steps were 30 cm (12 inches)
high, and regulations say that mail carriers are not required to climb steps higher than 20 cm (8 inches). Charbonneau said that the mail had been delivered to her door for the last 17 years and added that her 77-year-old mother-in-law—who is on oxygen— uses the stairs regularly.
BEAUZEAU LE CLOWN
In 2001 Quebec Premier Bernard Landry proposed the province spend $11 million to increase the number of clowns and other performers graduating from Quebec’s National Circus School. The school was only graduating ten students a year, and when it comes to clown training, said Landry, Quebec must “maintain and enhance its leadership position.”
Rebecca Chinalquay of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, sued the Meadow Lake Hospital after she was left alone in the delivery room while in labor. She called for help, but no one came, and she ended up having the baby by herself. The hospital’s excuse: Chinalquay was being uncooperative and wouldn’t allow nurses to monitor her condition, preventing them from knowing that the baby was coming.
SHOW ME THE MONEY
The Toronto-Dominion Bank loaned businessman Edward Del Grande $3.5 million in 1990. In 1995, when he didn’t pay them back, they sued him. Del Grande countersued…for $30 million.
His charge: the bank ruined him by loaning him too much money.
LOTT O’ LUCK
A man from Sherbrooke, Quebec, sued the provincial lottery, Loto-Quebec, for fooling him into believing he could actually win. He said that they sold only losing tickets, something he could prove by showing the $840 worth of losing tickets he’d bought in the month of March alone. The man, who is on welfare, sued the lottery for $879.58. Lawyers predicted an out of court settlement.
In 2004 a 54-year-old man was pulled over by Ontario Provincial Police on Highway 400 in Toronto because he was playing the violin while driving. He said he was on his way to a performance and needed to warm up.
• A Saskatchewan wildlife officer was attempting to “mercy kill” a wounded moose when the slug from his rifle missed, hit a tree, and ricocheted into a fellow officer’s leg. The wounded moose was put down; the wounded officer was not—he made a full recovery.
• In 1952, Stan Long, 23, of the Victoria Cougars hockey team in British Columbia, had his left thigh completely pierced by a hockey stick. The defenseman had collided with another player whose stick had just broken and was saved only by the fact that there was a doctor in the stands. He recovered from the wound and eventually played hockey again.
• A 19-year-old woman from Ontario was injured in 2005 when her car collided with a Molson Beer truck. The crash on Toronto’s Highway 401 caused the truck to flip over. Both drivers received only minor injuries, but 2,184 cases of beer spilled onto the highway in the middle of the morning rush hour. Traffic was held up for hours in what one officer described as a “sea of beer.”