Not sure if a “Baseball Paragraph” is an actual recognized entity of any kind – but it is now, dang it! Because this paragraph, concerning one Dock Phillip Ellis, Jr., that we just read at Wikipedia, makes us snicker inside ourselves in a way that brings us right back to kid-dom and a hundred gazillion baseball-related memories:

Ellis attempted to hit every batter in the Cincinnati Reds lineup on May 1, 1974, as retaliation for the macing incident in Cincinnati two years earlier. Ellis hit Pete Rose, Joe Morgan, and Dan Driessen in the top of the first inning. Cleanup batter Tony Perez avoided Ellis’s attempts—instead, drawing a walk; and, after two pitches that he aimed at the head of Johnny Bench, Ellis was removed from the game by manager Danny Murtaugh. Ellis’s box score for the game reads as follows: 0 IP, 0 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 0 K.

GAH. So funny.

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And it honestly is a coincidence that we have a baseball book. Honestly. We weren’t working on a baseball article or anything. We just came across that paragraph the way you do when you’re using the internet as your personal junk yard/treasure-hunting-ground. But we have to mention the baseball book now, don’t  we? I mean it would be dumb not to at this point, right? (And it really is quite good, we must say – humbly, of course!) Pretty sure we have to. Okay.

P.S. Wow. This happened. Wow.