Update II: Contest now closed! Thanks for all the entires!

Updated with early entry at bottom of post!

***

Yesterday we posted a photo of a drunk, belligerent octopus on our FaceBook page:

We LOAO so many many times over that image and caption that we decided we should do more of them, well, er—YOU should do more of them. AND WIN STUFF.

INANIMATE OBJECT PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST RULES

1. Take a photo of an inanimate object, from your house, your car, your yard, etc.

2. Add a funny caption to it

MY GOODNESS WE’RE SUCCINCT! (We’re not done yet, D.A.) OH. SORRY.

3. Email it to us at unclejohnsbathroomreader@gmail.com

4. The five funniest entries, as judged by Uncle John and his crack staff – will win one Uncle John Bathroom Reader of their choosing, and one coveted and internationally sought-after UJBR t-shirt!

5. The VERY FUNNIEST ENTRY will win THREE books and TWO UJBR t-shirts!

• You have more than two weeks: Entries will be taken until August 15, 2012!

• Keep it clean!

• Multiple entries okay.

• We’ll post all the funny entries on the blog!

• U.S. residents only. (You would not believe how complex and legally treacherous international laws are regarding simple contests like this. We are very sorry to our international fans for this.)

GOOD LUCK! 

Sample entry:

Update: Here’s a great early entry from BRI fan Olivia, that’s dang funny—and shows how simple this is to do, too:

**Thank you, Cathy C.!

The random winner of our 8th giveaway is: Bryce W. CONGRATS! Looking for a good chuckle? Read the amazing knock knock jokes from yesterday’s giveaway.

Every weekday in June we will pick a random winner from the readers that answer our daily question on our blog. You must post your answer before midnight PST of that day. Winners will be picked the following morning and a new question will be posted.

Question #9

What size shoes do you wear?

This one is so easy that we expect to get thousands of answers. Ready, set, go!

UJBR‘s Sale goes to June 17th! 30% of ALL TITLES (and free shipping on orders over $35)…

Update, May 29: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Actually, we have two.

First, we have four honorable mentions:

• Shelley Barnes, for: “If there were a politician in this box, it would say “I’m here today to celebrate this new public housing”

• Weston Schnetz, for: “If there were three Bathroom Readers and an BRI tee shirt in this box it would say my address.”

• Liz Rupert, for: “If there were Elvis albums in this box it would say, “Return to sender.”

• And Mr. Philip Romano, for: “If there were an ocean in this box, it would say nothing, but it might wave.”

Funny! Clever! Original! Sometimes both! (Hmmm…)

Okay, drum roll, please:

Congratulations, Mike Albright, for:

“if there were a kitten in the box, it would say, “let meowwwwwwt”

Now that’s the kind of clever/funny, funny/clever entry that makes you go, “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”  (There was another funny “meow” entry, but it just didn’t pizazz the judges in the way this one did.) Way to go, Mike!

And congratulations, Thomas McDonough, for:

“If there were a cat and a cesium atom in this box it would say “Return to Schrödinger.”

There, again, were more entries using a “Schrödinger’s Cat” theme – but this one added the Elvis twist – and not long after the Elvis entry – which bumpped it up to the winner’s circle. Way to go, Thomas!

Thanks for playing, everyone – we’ll do this again very soon!

****************************************************************** [end winner update]

See this box?

If there were a  ________  in this box it would say “______”.

Fill in the blanks in the funniest way, as judged by Uncle John and a few of his funnier friends, and we’ll put UPDATE: TWO THREE! Uncle John Bathroom Readers of your choosing—and one of the coveted UJBR t-shirts—in a box. And send it to you.

Ready set go. You have until Monday noon (PDT). (U.S. only.)

Example caption:

If there were a sheep  in this box it would say “baaaaax“.

***Keep it CLEAN for the kiddles, please and thank you!***

[pic]

Okay folks, the janitor stopped whatever it was he was doing in the attic long enough to pick a winning entry from our latest Caption Contest, wherein you had to come up with a witty…for the kitty:

In order to win a delicious BRI publication of your choosing, and one of these babies:

Ado no further…our winner is…

Lori! Congratulations, Lori! Thank you for submitting this winning entry:

Proof that animal testing was involved in the creation of the stop light…

Dat funny.

Congratulations once more, Lori. We’ll be in touch! Enjoy those prizes!

Thanks for playing everyone!  See ya next time…

P.S. Honorable mention goes to Kenneth Black, for:

You think I look bad, wait’ll you see the litter box.

Ew.

Update: Winners have been announced!

Who doesn’t like to win cool stuff? (Uncle John’s Uncle Frank, that’s who. Last we heard he was living in a cabin with no electricity or water in the Canadian Rockies. Winning free stuff would mean his whereabouts would be known. I think we’ve said enough.)

Where were we? Oh yeah—the person who makes the most custard-sneezingly hilarious caption for this photo…

…wins an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader of their chooosing and…yes…the coveted UJBR T-shirt. (Not available anywhere but here as a prize! It’s almost cruel, isn’t it?!)

Behold:

Update: Winners have been announced!

Ain’t she a beauty?

Sample caption:

"Now let me tell about this little event we called 'Woodstock'"...

Ready set go…

You have until midnight Sunday, PST!

**** U.S. only! Sorry! It’s a legal department thing…

**** Pic from here. Thanks!