Posts Tagged: ‘Celebrities’

January 29, 2013

“George Clooney Paid Your Bill”

From the Huffington Post:

As the customer finished his meal at Grill Royal restaurant and went to pay, he learned the $134.66 bill had been covered, UPI reported.

The waiter told him George Clooney was behind the gesture. The actor thought he and his friends, who were seated at the next table, had disturbed the man.

“That’s not true at all,” the man told Bild newspaper. “They had behaved in a very cultivated manner. I was stunned.”

Uncle John Says: George Clooney can be noisy with his rich friends in restaurants Uncle John’s eating in any time he likes! Twice a week even!

On a related note: Rearrange the letters in “George Clooney” and you get, “Encore, geology!” Encore geology, indeed! Set that in stone! Rock on! Slate! (We don’t know what that last one means. We’re sorry.)

• Image from here.

• Bonus.

Posted by Thom

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February 6, 2012

Randy Travis Arrested

We feel a country song coming on:

Country singer Randy Travis has apologized after being arrested on a charge of public intoxication outside a North Texas church.

I hope he took a train there. With momma…

P.S. Holy cow, Randy Travis, you are hereby inducted into the Sneer Hall of Fame:

Yowza. You could fry an egg on a sneer like that.

Posted by Thom

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January 20, 2012

RIP, Etta James

Etta James has left us at the age of 73. Here’s a nice writeup from the newspaper of her original hometown. That was one big, hard, beautiful life.

This is a nice video, for the haunting song and performance, and for the slow display of wonderful images. Really nice job.

Uncle John saw Ms. James just a few years back at a nice big outdoor venue with some family. His 12-year-old niece left less than half-way through the show, because, quote, “Etta was so raunchy that it scared her.”

Yep. She did not hold back in that department.

RIP, Etta James.

Posted by Thom

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January 17, 2012

Ed Van Halen Gives 75 Guitars to Schools

Well, heck. That’s just nice.

I bet those kids are going to want to jump for joy! And dance the night way! And drive faster than 55! Oh, wait…

Posted by Thom

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January 9, 2012

Beyonce Baby-Delivery Animation

Did Beyonce and hubbie Jay-Z take over an entire hospital floor to have their baby, forcing other parents and relatives to stay out?

Who cares?! There’s a funny video about it:

Background: A lot of you are probably familiar with the animations made by Taiwanese company, Next Media Animation. (TIME had a story about them in 2010.) They got their first noteriety lampooning the Tiger Woods debacle in 2009, and this is just their latest work.

And the hospital denies the accusations.

* At the time off posting, the video has only 302 views. We got in early on this one…

 

Posted by Thom

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December 22, 2011

Louis CK’s Experiment

Louis CK

You may have heard about this. If so, well, there’s been a very big update as of yesterday.

Back story: On December 10, comedian Louis CK put a video of himself performing at the Beacon Theater in New York City up for sale on a website made just for purpose. It offered the video for $5. You could pay through PayPal – even if you didn’t have a PayPal account – and download the video right away. And:

No DRM, no regional restrictions, no crap. You can download this file, play it as much as you like, burn it to a DVD, whatever.

Just four days later Louis CK issued a statement:

People of Earth (minus the ones who don’t give a sh*t about this): it’s been amazing to conduct this experiment with you. The experiment was: if I put out a brand new standup special at a drastically low price ($5) and make it as easy as possible to buy, download and enjoy, free of any restrictions, will everyone just go and steal it? Will they pay for it? And how much money can be made by an individual in this manner? [...]

First of all, this was a premium video production, shot with six cameras over two performances at the Beacon Theater, which is a high-priced elite Manhattan venue. I directed this video myself and the production of the video cost around $170,000. (This was largely paid for by the tickets bought by the audiences at both shows). The material in the video was developed over months on the road and has never been seen on my show (LOUIE) or on any other special. The risks were thus: every new generation of material I create is my income, it’s like a farmer’s annual crop. The time and effort on my part was far more than if I’d done it with a big company. If I’d done it with a big company, I would have a guarantee of a sizable fee, as opposed to this way, where I’m actually investing my own money.

Result:

The show went on sale at noon on Saturday, December 10th. 12 hours later, we had over 50,000 purchases and had earned $250,000, breaking even on the cost of production and website. As of Today, we’ve sold over 110,000 copies for a total of over $500,000. Minus some money for PayPal charges etc, I have a profit around $200,000.

That’s a pretty powerful little experiment, and the comedian said it was so successful that he hopes to do it in the future: cut out the bigwigs, and just go straight to the fans. Pretty cool.

But there is more – so much more. Mr. CK updated the site yesterday:

hi. So it’s been about 12 days since the thing started and yesterday we hit the crazy number. One million dollars. That’s a lot of money. Really too much money. I’ve never had a million dollars all of a sudden. and since we’re all sharing this experience and since it’s really your money, I wanted to let you know what I’m doing with it. People are paying attention to what’s going on with this thing. So I guess I want to set an example of what you can do if you all of a sudden have a million dollars that people just gave to you directly because you told jokes.

So I’m breaking the million into four pieces.

the first 250k is going to pay back what the special cost to produce and the website to build.

The second 250k is going back to my staff and the people who work for me on the special and on my show. I’m giving them a big fat bonus.

The third 280k is going to a few different charities. They are listed below in case you’d like to donate to them also. Some of these i learned about through friends, some were reccomended through twitter.

That leaves me with 220k for myself. Some of that will pay my rent and will care for my childen. The rest I will do terrible, horrible things with and none of that is any of your business. In any case, to me, 220k is enough out of a million.

That is one heck of a good story, and a really good story for the Christmas season. Wow. A very, very large Uncle John’s hats-off to Mr. Louis CK!

[pic: fixed!]

 

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Last -minute gifts? Your friends don’t need a Kindle to read an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader e-book from Amazon. It’s really easy to send one as a gift, and it’s also really fast!

Posted by Thom

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December 21, 2011

Kim Kardashian [updated]

We just noticed that someone named “Kim Kardashian” is in the news – again – and we just wanted to say a few things about this, so here goes:

[this space intentionally left blank]

That is all. Thank you.

Update: We just got a call from Kim Kardashian’s lawyer – who, as it happens, talks really loud! – and we’d like to say that we have no idea who made this post. It may have been the janitor. He hates Kim Kardashian. We don’t know why.

Anyway, we’d like to make it up to the lovely and erudite Ms. Kardashian by now posting one quote from her:

I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms…my entire body is hairless.

So there you go.

 

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The UJBR HOLIDAY SALE! - 30% off all books - goes until the end of December.

And Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader eBooks and new and improved mobile app just became available.

Posted by Thom

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December 16, 2011

Batman v. the Chinese Government

This is a heck of a story. Dark Knight star Christian Bale recently finished a film in China—the most expensive Chinese film ever made—set in 1937 against the background of the “Nanking Massacre,” in which the Japanese brutally assaulted the Chinese city of Nanking.

The Chinese government has been heavily promoting the film, and Bale has taken some flak for taking part in what has been called a Chinese propoganda film.

All that changed today:

As Christian Bale approached an impromptu checkpoint leading to this tiny village in eastern China, four men blocking the narrow path started marching toward him in menacing unison.

“I am here to see Chen Guangcheng,” the “Dark Knight” actor said and I translated, with correspondent Stan Grant and cameraman Brad Olson next to us.
“Go away!” the plainclothes guards barked, pushing us back.

Amid the scuffling and yelling, dozens more guards in olive-green, military-style overcoats — and two gray minivans — emerged from the other side of the checkpoint, all coming toward us.

“Why can I not visit this free man?” Bale asked repeatedly, only to receive punches from guards aiming for his small camera as they tried to drag him away from the rest of us.

To recap:

• Bale makes Chinese film which the Chinese government loves.

• Chinese government promotes itself via film and Bale.

• Bale says, “Hey look, there’s someone the Chinese government is brutally oppressing!” and gets roughed up by Chinese government guards, agents, whatever, trying to visit said oppressed person.

• Roughing up gets WORLDWIDE PRESS.

That is almost funny. It almost seems a like a planned switcheroo play by Bale, though that’s impossible to tell, of course. In any case it is a disastrous public relations nightmare for China.

Here’s the video from CNN:

 

For those keeping track at home:

China 0

Batman 1

 

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The UJBR HOLIDAY SALE! - 30% off all books - goes through December.

And oh yeah: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader eBooks and new and improved mobile app just became available.

• Batman-related fact from the just-released Uncle John’s 24-KARAT-GOLD Bathroom Reader:

The campy Batman TV show was inspired by a Batman-themed party Hugh Hefner threw in 1965.

Posted by Thom

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December 14, 2011

Star Fight: John Cleese Calls Eric Idle “Yoko”

Because we live to serve you the latest and greatest (and, well, let’s face it, some of the most awful) news, history, wisdom, nonsense, and, as in times like these—still steaming piles of fresh gossip—we point you to the Twitter feed of comedy legend John Cleese, who twittered, just minutes ago (it’s around 10 AM on the 14th day of December, 2011), of his Monty Python partner, Eric Idle:

Oh dear. Somebody’s a Mr. Crabby Pants this morning.

He followed that up minutes later with:

Now, maybe it’s just us, but this kind of sniping from a superstar like Cleese is unbecoming – and we’ll be right here to update this post if any more sniping is to follow.

Nearly Immediate Update: Ah ha. Some background, from just three days ago:

John Cleese may have been forced to go on tour to pay for his third divorce, but he has won little sympathy from Eric Idle.

Idle says he dropped his fellow Monty Python star from his touring production of Spamalot, his hit musical, because he had given him enough money already.

“I fired John Cleese – surgically removed him,” he says. “It wasn’t mean – he’s had millions of dollars from it. He charges people a fortune for using his voice. He’s always been in financial crisis.”

Now stop. Come on – you guys are heroes! Okay, just a little more:

He adds: “His ex wife was married to him for 20 years. I wouldn’t take £13 million to be married to him.”

Do you understand the comedic possibilities if these two really get going? It’d be like two Jedi knights fighting! The Force could be seriously damaged!

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Oh yeah: Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader eBooks and new and improved mobile app just became available today….

Posted by Thom

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December 5, 2011

The December 5 Birthday/Phobia News Report

Mickey Mouse

As we do every year on this day, we now present you with the December 5 Birthday/Phobia News Report:

Birthday: Today is the birthday of one of the most famous names in the history of – well, just about anything, really – but mostly in the history of film, and especially animated film, Mr. Walt Disney. He is known for his role in the creation of some of the most memorable characters in the history of animation, including the world-wide animated mega-superstar, Mickey Mouse.

Phobia: According to a 2005 story in the New York Times, Walt Disney was a victim of musophobia. In other words – the man most famous for Mickey Mouse was deathly afraid of mice.

This has been your 2011 December 5 Birthday/Phobia News Report.

[pic]

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Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader’s HOLIDAY SALE30% of all books - goes through December.

Posted by Thom

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