Paralegals/Strippers Visit Drug Lords in Miami Prison

November 30, 2011

Gives a whole new meaning to “lawyering up”:

Stripteases, sexual favors, booze, porn mags, and fat stacks of cash would be run-of-the-mill in many Miami strip clubs. But at downtown’s maximum security Federal Detention Center?

Multiple attorneys interviewed by Riptide say the FDC visitor rooms have been taken over by South American pole dancers posing as paralegals for wealthy drug lords inside. Lawyers hired by the accused narco dons allegedly list the scantily clad women as “legal assistants,” and the FDC lets them in. Meanwhile, attorneys who refuse to go along risk losing their clients to lawyers with busty beauties on staff.

We want this recognized right here and right now: We get credit for the idea for the brand new reality show: Pole-Dancing Paralegals. MTV will totally go for this. (Alternate titles include We Put the “Privilege” in Attorney-Client, Real Housewives/Paralegals/Strippers of Miami, and The Long Pole of the Law.)

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