October 31, 2011
Happy Halloween everybody! May it be fraught, terrifying, blood-chilling, hair-whitening, pants-wettening – all that.
And by shocking coincidence – given today’s heartbreaking news—here’s a shot of Uncle John getting the last of his costume put on:
Scary night in store for Mrs. Uncle John…
Have a great night, and be safe, everyone!
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October 30, 2011
German police called to a traffic incident early Sunday were astonished to find themselves face-to-face with Jedi master Yoda from Star Wars, much the worse for wear after Halloween celebrations.
In the early hours of Sunday morning, a 42-year-old male driver, resplendent in his Yoda costume, had a minor collision with a pedestrian and sped off in his car, only to be collared by a police vehicle two minutes later.
Happy Sunday, everybody. If you’ve got any Halloween stories you’d lie to share with the world – drop ‘em in the comments. [pic]
Bonus Star Wars-related news: From Uncle John’s Fast-Acting, Long lasting Bathroom Reader (page 415):
Use the Fire Extinguisher, Luke!
In 2005 two die-hard Star Wars fans in England tried to stage (and film) their own lightsaber battle. The pair off wannabe Jedis, a 20-year-old male and his 17-year-old female friend, built their makeshift lightsabers out of two discarded fluorescent light tubes. Bad idea: they poured gasoline into the tubes and lit them on fire. Early on in the battle, their tubes collided and shattered—splattering them with glass and flames. Both were hospitalized with severe burns…just like Anakin Skywalker!
October 29, 2011
You know how they know that? Because when they caught it, the snake said, “D’oh!”
Officials in the Florida Everglades have captured and killed a 16-foot-long Burmese python that had just eaten an adult deer.
Scott Hardin, exotic species coordinator for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission, said workers found the snake on Thursday. The reptile was one of the largest ever found in South Florida.
Hardin said the python had recently consumed a 76-pound female deer that had died.
Too bad they didn’t get video of the snake capturing and constricting and killing the cute little deer. For the kids. I mean it’s almost Halloween!
P.S. Does this look like Burma, Mr. Burmese python? Go home!
October 28, 2011
Oh man, this will make you spit coffee our your nose.
P.S. Much like the voice-activated elevator, there were parts of that we could not for the life of us understand. (Someone please translate the line at the 1:27 mark regarding “your own coutnry” for us. Please.)
This is making the rounds now along with the news that Apple’s new iPhone voice-recognition technology, Siri, does not understand Scottish.
October 28, 2011
Update: Mr. Sir Hodgman has responded. We are humbled.
John Hodgman of Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show fame has a new book coming out: That is All, the third in his groin-pullingly funny The Areas of My Expertise series.
Hodgman talked to Publishers Weekly about it—and a fan sent us the link:
Hodgman shares the four books that inspired his oeuvre.
He saved the best for last. Ahem:
Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader
There are many volumes now of this great work of disposable facts for disposable time, but I discovered the first edition lying around back when I was still an agent at Writers House in New York City. I was not a very good agent, but Writers House itself, a beautiful 18th-century townhouse once belonging to John Jacob Astor, was a lovely place to read and scheme up a new life. And thankfully, it also had a bathroom.
Thankfully indeed!
We can think of only one thing to say to this, Mr. Hodgman…sir…your highness:
October 27, 2011
Trevor Prideaux, who was born without his left arm, used to have to balance the smartphone on his prosthetic arm or put it on a flat surface to use it.
But now Mr Prideaux, 50, can call and text his loved ones without moving the mobile, which is embedded into his fibreglass and laminate limb.
Clever. And he actually got help from the company that has built prosthetics for him in the past, so it’s not like he just used a pocket knife and cut a hole in the arm to fit the phone in. (Which is what Uncle John would have done.)
But our question is: Where’s he going to embed his iPad?
Bonus: Eyeborg.
October 27, 2011
The 8-foot-tall, 100-pound fiberglass statue that resembles the little plastic guys that come in a Lego set was discovered bobbing gently in ankle-deep surf at the Siesta Key Beach in Florida, just before dawn on Tuesday.
Here’s the weird part: On the front of the Lego man’s “shirt” is the grammar-challenged message, ‘NO REAL THAN YOU ARE.”
Police are said to be on the lookout for an Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader writer.
***
Bonus: Because we love you, from UJBR Plunges Into Music, page 405, please meet Henry Lim’s playable, full-sized harpsichord…made entirely out of Legos.
October 26, 2011
The New York Times had a fascinating article the other day, about a relatively new hearing aid technology that we hadn’t heard of before, and we had to go learn more about it. We got a good introduction here:
When we attend a meeting or any large gathering of people, those of us with normal hearing manage to ignore background noise caused by coughing, paper being shuffled, chairs scraping the floor and whispered conversation. We concentrate on the speaker and although we may be annoyed by the background noises, we can hear the speaker.
For the hearing aid wearer, it is much more difficult. All the background noise is amplified by their hearing aid and any distortion in the public address system will be amplified along with the speaker’s voice. This makes it extremely difficult to distinguish speech. It can also make being with a large group of people quite unpleasant.
Solution: The hearing loop. Instead of a hearing aid picking up all that sound, specially placed microphones pick up the sound you want to hear, and transmit it via a thin strand of copper installed around the periphery of a room (the “loop”) to receivers that most hearing aids are already equipped with. (Here’s an image (pdf) that shows how it works.)
Hearing loops can be installed in concert halls, courtrooms, school rooms, the DMV, in hospitals—even in your home: if you’ve got kids running around and you want to watch TV it’s especially helpful (you just have to have the microphones placed correctly).
Here’s a video demonstration, and one that shows different versions of the system, including simple portable units that are especially good for places where the public has to go to a counter in a crowded public place:
Hearing loops are already pretty common in Europe—here’s hoping we’ll be seeing more of the hearing loop symbol over here in the near future.
October 25, 2011
Just a quick note and one cool photograph, letting you know that the crack staff here at the BRI have gone au naturel in pursuit of only the most sumptuous nuggets of knowledge from the natural world for Uncle John’s NATURE CALLS Bathroom Reader…due out next year.
And we just came across this:
Penitentes, or nieves penitentes (“penitente-shaped snows”, in Spanish), are a snow formation found at high altitudes. They take the form of tall thin blades of hardened snow or ice closely spaced with the blades oriented towards the general direction of the sun. Penitentes can be as tall as a person.
Kind of like flowers leaning and reaching for the sun – except it’s snow.
Check it out. (Click pic to make huge.):
Pretty cool, huh?
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October 25, 2011
There’s a good chance it’s actually “ex-lax fish”:
The sliver of raw fish sold as white tuna at Skipjack’s in Foxborough was actually escolar, an oily, cheaper species banned in Japan because it can make people sick. The Alaskan butterfish at celebrity chef Ming Tsai’s Blue Ginger in Wellesley was really sablefish, traditionally a staple at Jewish delicatessens, not upscale dining establishments.
Those were among the findings of a five-month Globe investigation into the mislabeling of fish. [...]
All 23 white tuna samples tested as some other type of fish, usually escolar, which is nicknamed the “ex-lax’’ fish by some in the industry because of the digestion problems it can cause.
You know what someone has to invent? A handy pocket-fish-DNA-tester that you can take to the restaurant with you. “I’ll have the ahi ahi. And I’ve got my handy pocket-fish-DNA-tester – so watch it mister!” (Or maybe there’s already an app for that?)
