Archive for March, 2011

March 31, 2011

A Car With Sole

From “Manolo’s Shoe Blog: Manolo Loves the Shoes!”

Manolo says, as the longtime internet friends of the Manolo know, the Chinese Love the Big Shoes! And now they love the big shoes with the wheels and the motors, that you can drive.

  • “A footwear manufacturer in China has made an electric car out of a giant shoe. It can carry two people up to 250 miles at speeds of up to 20mph on a single charge of the battery underneath the driver’s seat. The leather ‘bodywork’ is made in the same way as a normal shoe but on a bigger scale, using the hide of five bulls.”

And none of this would mean anything, really, without a really keen picture of some smiling person driving the giant shoe, would it? Well here you go:

Meanwhile, you should really go back to Manolo’s place, and the bottom of the post, to see much more evidence that “The Chinese Love the Big Shoes!

Posted by Thom

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March 30, 2011

Where’s the Dang Puck???

Just days until the National Hockey League playoffs begin and the Buffalo Sabres begin their quest for their very first Stanley Cup!

Your mileage may vary.

On a related note, here’s a hilarious video of ref reaching down a goalie’s pants:

Got any funny hockey stories, BRI fans? Bring em on!

Posted by Thom

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March 29, 2011

First Photos From MESSENGER: Mercury

Just a few weeks ago we told you about the NASA spacecraft MESSENGER becoming the first spacecraft in history (in human history…) to make orbit around our innermost and hottest planet, Mercury. Well the very first photo just came back to Earth, and “WOW” is right:

This image is the first ever returned from a spacecraft orbiting Mercury, but MESSENGER has already taken hundreds more, and thousands are planned during this commissioning phase (when the various instruments and spacecraft are checked out). The real science observations begin April 4.

Tomorrow, NASA will have a press conference and more images. I’ll have more info and more amazing pictures from Mercury to show you then!

Here’s  the NASA MESSENGER site here. Enjoy!

Posted by Thom

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March 29, 2011

“Let’s Get Ready for Opening Day” PROMO!

Opening day is around the corner and you don’t want to be left behind. To fill your soul with lots of baseball history, philosophy, facts about teams and players, and lots of hilarious flubs, we are having a special promotion for Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Takes a Swing at Baseball. Purchase the book between April 1-April 9 and take an additional 20% off the BRI price! Use promo code MLB11 at checkout. Go (insert favorite team name here)!!!!


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March 28, 2011

Caption Contest: We Have a Winner…

La-hadies and geee-entlemen, we have gathered all 647,323 entries in our latest fantabulous contest, “Caption That Outhouse,” wherein we asked you to caption this photo of an actual working public restroom in Saguaro National Park in Arizona:

We have now, after much tribulation, decided on a winner.

Well, we’ve actually decided on three winners—cuz you are all are just so darn good. (Okay, not all of you: You know who you are…)

Empty-Quaker-Oatmeal-canister drumroll, please! (dubadubadubaduba…)

Weeeee-inner #3 is:

Shelly Moseley, for:

This was always my favorite rest stop when being pursued by a posse.

Brilliant! Captures the whole Wild West motif, while staying with the parameters of the “restroom” theme. Well done, Shelly, well done indeed.

Weeeee-inner #2 is:

Rigo, for:

Pay no attention to the shackles in the stalls.

Creepy! And gosh darn it—we just love creepy! Well done, Rigo!

And with no further ado, the #1 winner is:

Kristian M., for:

Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader: Year 1

Perfection! Wholly within the contest theme, directly in line with the ancient-seeming setting of the provided photograph—and with just the right amount of shameless pandering to the introverted, insecure staff at the BRI! Kudos to you, Kristian M.—you are a caption master!

Congratulations, winners! You will be contacted by the gracious and multi-talented Mana regarding your wonderful prize—an UJBR publication of your choosing.

And our special thanks to each and every one of you who took part in the contest, and especially to those of you who spread the word about it on your vatrious social networking platforms. Thanks a million—and come back next time!

Posted by Thom

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March 27, 2011

Cobra Escapes Bronx Zoo [Caught!]

Update: The missing cobra has finally been found after six days. It was in the reptile house the whole time.

—–

Just a note to our New York  City-based fans: If  you’re planning on going for walk around the Bronx Park area tonight, be sure to bring your flute. And maybe one of those lidded baskets…

Peek-a-boo

The reptiles exhibit at a Bronx zoo was shut down after staff discovered a venomous Egyptian cobra escaped from its enclosure.

Upon learning the half-metre long adolescent serpent was missing from an off-exhibit enclosure Friday, officials immediately secured the area and began a search, said Mary Dixon, zoo spokeswoman, in a release.

If you happen to find this snake, please let us know!

[photo]

Posted by Thom

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March 25, 2011

Defecating Dog Says “Shoot!”

Defecating Dog is back in the news!

“Police: Mississippi Neighbors Shoot At Each Other Over Defecating Dog”

Good thing they shot over him—that could have been messy!

“An argument between two armed neighbors over a dog and its feces escalated to a shootout in rural Mississippi, sending one neighbor to the hospital with injuries from shotgun pellets and the other neighbor to jail.

Terry Tenhet, 52, told The Associated Press he was struck Wednesday in both hands, the shoulder, chest and side by the spray of pellets from shotgun blasts fired by his neighbor, Jerry Blasingame, 60. The wounds are not life-threatening.”

Thank goodness! Defecating Dog is not against a little gunplay, but he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt! That would stink!

Editor’s Note: We actually don’t know if there was ever anything known as “Defecating Dog” in the news before this time—we may have just made him us because it sounded fun. But that’s our Defecating Dog story and we’re sticking to it!

Ew.

Posted by Thom

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March 24, 2011

Caption That Outhouse Contest!

NO MORE ENTRIES! WE’LL HAVE A WINNER SOON!

This is a photo of an actual working public restroom in Saguaro National Park in Arizona. (It was taken by Christine, better 5/8 of BRI Thom, in 2008.)

Nice, huh?

Provide a caption for the photo either here in the comments, or on our Facebook or Twitter pages. We’ll have the crack staff here at the BRI look over them, argue over them, yell and scream over them, throw a little furniture—then Mrs. Uncle John will decide which one she likes best.

***WINNER GETS AN UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER OF THEIR CHOICE!

You have until sunday night midnight PST to enter the contest.

Sample caption:

"Please check toilets for rattlesnakes before removing pants."

Ready…

Set…

GO!

Posted by Thom

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March 23, 2011

“The Dude’s” Robe is For Sale

I don’t know if there could be a more perfect thing to post on the official blog of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. News like this is MADE for us:

Cult movie fans everywhere, take note: The robe worn by the White Russian-sipping, Creedence Clearwater Revival-loving main character of “The Big Lebowski” will be going to the highest bidder.

The robe was donned throughout a good chunk of the 1998 flick by the Dude, Jeff Bridges’ iconic character — and patron saint of slackers everywhere since. It will be auctioned in the Profiles in History sale in Beverly Hills, Calif., on May 11, according to TMZ. (It’s possible the robe actually once belonged to Bridges, since many of the clothes he wore in “Lebowski”were from his own closet, according to a trivia book.)

Whattaya say, BRI fans—should we try to buy The Dude’s robe?

Posted by Thom

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March 23, 2011

RIP Elizabeth Taylor

The one and only Elizabeth Taylor has passed away in Los Angeles, California, at the age of 79. From the website of her hometown newspaper in London, England:

Farewell Dame Liz

SCREEN icon Dame Elizabeth Taylor, who spent her formative years in Hampstead Garden Suburb, died yesterday aged 79. The double Oscar-winning actress, whose best known films include National Velvet and Cleopatra, was one of the 20th century’s biggest stars.

The Guardian says “Born to be Cleopatra.”

The Wall Street Journal notes that Taylor was the first actress to break the million-dollar mark.

BBC goes to Pontrhydyfen (the birthplace of Richard Burton, Taylor’s fifth—and sixth—husband).

Something called THR has a pretty wonderful short YouTube video tribute up:

And, just because, Rosanne Cash, with one small memory:

Every year Elizabeth Taylor sent my dad a telegram (yes, telegram) for his birthday. It said: ‘Remember, I’m younger than you!’ (by 1 day)

Posted by Thom

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