UNCLE JOHN’S CENSUS 2010
March 23, 2010
Everyone in the United States is required to answer the questions on this important official document by April 1, 2010. And that includes Canada.
Please cut and paste any or all of the following questions into a comment below and answer accordingly. Comments will be placed in a large virtual hat on April 1, 2010, and one winner will be drawn from said hat. Winner will receive either an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas or a free book, whichever makes our accountants happier. Read. Set. Go!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
• Do you like piña coladas?
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)4
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?12
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)48
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?2003
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)yes, no
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?yes, all of them
• Do you like piña coladas?nah
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)no
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)none
• Do these jeans make me look fat?yes
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?:( now it is
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
YES!!! Can I have the book over the vacation. I would rather have the book please!!!!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Jamie, but some call me JB.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
Two. (Well, one is a half-bath…)
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
There are four in the downstairs bathroom (’cause that’s the one everyone uses) and one in the upstairs bathroom when I take it with me.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
Five.
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
24. No need to lie yet.
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2004.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Bacon is always the answer!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
Not that I recall, but it’s possible. I don’t have any kids.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
I’ve not paid attention to the TV while reading a Bathroom Reader, so I guess that applies.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
I’ve never seen one in someone else’s bathroom.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
Thus far, the Certified Organic and Plunges into Pennsylvania. Would love to buy and read Plunges into Music sometime.
• Do you like piña coladas?
No, but I do enjoy getting caught in the rain.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
N/A.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Both.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
A. German Shepherd. (He’s white.)
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
No way!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Yes. I need to go play it on my sparkly, purple iPod now. Thanks.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Yes, I enjoyed it, and I will share it on Facebook.
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) – Jeff
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?- 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) – 5
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? – 12
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) – 41
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? – 2008
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? – soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) – yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? – parts of it
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) – no
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? – all of them
• Do you like piña coladas? – yes
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) – no
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) – yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) – no
• Do these jeans make me look fat? – your not fat
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? – no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? – yes
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
At least 36.
• What is your name? Bob
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? 5 in master, 1 in Family
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 6
• What is your age? 48
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2003
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Bacon anything is always preferred.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? 2 people, 2 bathrooms. Have to ansewer “No”.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? When reading a Bathroom Reader, nothing else is important.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? Who doesn’t wash and read?
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I’m a history nut so I enjoy Plunging into the Preidency.
• Do you like piña coladas? Not so much. Scotch on the rocks.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service?
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? Of course!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) None of the above.
• Do these jeans make me look fat? You’re not fat, you are perfectly sized for you.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? It wan’t a question ago. Sheeeeeeesh!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? Loved it!
Go with the flow!
What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? I’m sorry, no fans, no grapes. But hey, that’s just me.
• What is your name? Brandon
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 15
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 15
• What is your age? 35
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? yes, my son
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? yes, pluges into music
• Do you like piña coladas? np
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service?
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? no
• Do these jeans make me look fat? no
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? yes
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Lynne
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2 in the downstairs and 1 in each upstairs…so a total of 4
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 6 or 7
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 25
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? uh….I dont remember…its been a couple…
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? BACON!!!!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes…my dad…
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Once…but I was reading about the similarities between Sherlock Holmes and House and I missed the first ten minutes of House….
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes and yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I can’t choose just one!
• Do you like piña coladas? “getting caught in the rain” yes I do ^^
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) Nope happily with my boy…
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) None of the above…I have a Maltese and a ShiTzu…they are ethnic arn’t they ^^
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Uh depends do they have sequences on them?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? YES thank you very much!!!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) I had alot of fun and I did tell all my friends to do it…on pains of death…I mean…uh…being locked in the bathroom without a bathroom reader!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Kim Johnson
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? one
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 3
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 39
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2007
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes & children do happen to be a couple of those.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? close
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) yes to both
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? slightly irregular
• Do you like piña coladas? no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes, facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) f)chihuahua
• Do these jeans make me look fat? of course not
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? yes
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) sure!!!!
Hello,
I was searching for a dating site when i came across your site. This is no dating site, but this is much more interesting! Will be coming back here. Thanks for the info, for this lonely dater.
See you!
Dantheman1119
5 bathrooms. Bedroom, next to bedroom, middle floor, downstairs, and one inside my plastic cow.
none in bathroom but if i were to divide it evenly by 5, 2 per bathroom
10
12
2003
i’m a vegetarian, so i go with salad spoon
No, but i made them wait because i wsa playing my DSi
Half of one
Yes. No.
The music one and the 20th anniversary one.
No, i hate smoothies.
uhh…. i said no, so NO.
Yes, and i liked you.
I have a golden doodle! (Golden Retriever and a Poodle had a baby, his name is oscar)
*COUGH COUGH* I CAN;T HEAR YOU OVER THE ROAR OF THE WATERFALL!
No
I LOVED IT!