UNCLE JOHN’S CENSUS 2010
March 23, 2010
Everyone in the United States is required to answer the questions on this important official document by April 1, 2010. And that includes Canada.
Please cut and paste any or all of the following questions into a comment below and answer accordingly. Comments will be placed in a large virtual hat on April 1, 2010, and one winner will be drawn from said hat. Winner will receive either an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas or a free book, whichever makes our accountants happier. Read. Set. Go!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
• Do you like piña coladas?
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Kat
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 0 (but there are 4 currently residing next to my bed)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 35+
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 38
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1990
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? dessert!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yup, with bonus!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? oh yeah
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes, and yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Plunges into History 1 and 2
• Do you like piña coladas? Yummy!
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) Nope
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes, and no on the twitter–I don’t have an account with them!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) F, named Jake,
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Nope. Did you lose weight?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? yep, darn you!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) You bet!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)~ Billy Joel
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?~ 5
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)~ 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?~2
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)~15 going on 16
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?~ don’t remember…sorry.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?~ tea spoon!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)~ Yes sir! RIP the lizard was too interesting to leave alone unfinished.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?~ no, but using the bathroom in general has.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)~ yes, but no
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?~ they’re all good!
• Do you like piña coladas?~ I’m more a fan of getting caught in the rain (:
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)~
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)~no, because I do not believe in organized crime.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)~e, actually it appeared in my bidet. Really awkward.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?~ no darling, you look stunning as always!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?~ Well now it is, thanks! >D
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)~ tell me about it…
• What is your name? – TinDefacto
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? – 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? – 0
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? – 6
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) – 14
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? – 2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? – …soup?
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) – No
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? – I do not watch television; no
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) – No
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? – They’re all great!
• Do you like piña coladas? – no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) – Yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) – No pets
• Do these jeans make me look fat? – absolutely… not!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? – No
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) – Yes! (I think it should be noted I never read BRs in the bathroom.)
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)Kevin Weigel
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 4
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?11
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
50
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
? been a while
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? tv many a time
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)Of course I read them, didn’t always wash my hands (bad)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Unstoppable?
• Do you like piña coladas? that will be a no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)Facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) No
• Do these jeans make me look fat? You are fat
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Not really
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Facebook
• What is your name? ERiC AiXeLsyD
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? Sadly, just 1.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) As many as will fit on the shelf behind the throne, until they migrate to the book shelf in the bedroom.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? Ridiculous amounts… Can I get back to you? I have all of the “Regular” ones excluding ones that also appear in collected additions… and a bunch of “plunges into” ones…
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 33
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? Somewhere in the early 2000′s?
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? BACON.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Of course!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Does leaving the house later than anticipated count?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) I have!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? The “Plunges Into Music” one is excellent… if I have to pick just one.
• Do you like piña coladas? No, I stick with beer.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes to both!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) g) none of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat? It’s hard to poop with jeans on…
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Yes.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yes, and sure!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) (ChanceCat)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? (2 Bathrooms)
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) (1)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? (14)
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) (21 with 29 years experience)
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? (1989)
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? (Soup)
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) (No)
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? (Yes … thank goodness for DVRs!)
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) (Yep and Yup)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? (#2 … it just seems fitting! LOL)
• Do you like piña coladas? (No)
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) (Both!)
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) (None of the above, but I do have a cat)
• Do these jeans make me look fat? (Of course not … you look “mahv-alous!”)
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? (Ha Ha … yep!)
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) (Yes I did … and you can bet your bottom I will!)
• What is your name? Thomas Crapper
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
2 in 2 bathrooms, 0 in the 3rd. Because I hate using that bathroom.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
17
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
27
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2003
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
Of course.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
no.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
never found one elsewhere.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
I have ones i don’t like…
• Do you like piña coladas?
No.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
..
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
…
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
no.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
– I was happy to participate in this fun survey because:
1) I love Bathroom readers, so if I can help you, I will.
2) i wanted the opportunity to win the free book.
that being said… the funny, cute questions took a little more time than was necessary. Since I’m hooking you up by giving you free statistics for the mere, and minor chance of winning a free book, you could help me next time by shortening the survey and making a better use of my time.
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Tosh
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 2 and a calendar
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 24
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? some time in the 90s. My parents had bathroom readers.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon?
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? I’ve missed part of a show, yes.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Of course!!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? They’re all good.
• Do you like piña coladas? if it’s free, but i did get caught in the rain today.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) No, idk.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) Umm….
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Of course not.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? YES!!!!!!!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Porche Line King
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1, unless the wife takes up the shower then the sink in the kitchen counts.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 4
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 4
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 24
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2000
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes, and then I take them out when to share with my wife when I find a particulary interesting or hilarious bit.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Oh hell yes.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) No, unfortunetly my friends don’t have any bathroom readers, questioning our friendship at this moment.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Uncle John’s All Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader Lucky number thirteenth edition.
• Do you like piña coladas? Yes, and getting caught in the rain just in case anyone was wondering.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) No
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes, Facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) None of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat? No the fat makes you look fat.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Only a little.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) I did enjoy and I will make my friends fill it out too.
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)DebbiedoesDon (Ok I did him for as long as we were married)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2 and there is still a line!
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 14
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 46
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? around 2000
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) I make my kids wait until they yell they are ‘prairie dogging it’…
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yep
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) ewww
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Presidents
• Do you like piña coladas? ewww no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) didn’t know you were there!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) no
• Do these jeans make me look fat? they never make me look skinny
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Oh God I hope not
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) haha
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) I’m Telling Mom IV
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1 bathroom, 1 mom, 1 dad, 4 kids. Fun times!
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 10 and 3 on order.
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) past the age of telling
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2002ish
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? definately bacon.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Oh, all 4 children. And the husband. And the cats, whose litter box is in there.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? What wedding?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)I stole one from work.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
Plunges into History
• Do you like piña coladas? and getting caught in the rain.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) i laugh at the girl at work who does.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) don’t use twitter, did not know you were on facebook but will look you up
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) D- she is weird!
• Do these jeans make me look fat? YES
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? yes
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
yes, and no … i send nothing to no one!
Everyone in the United States is required to answer the questions on this important official document by April 1, 2010. And that includes Canada.
Please cut and paste any or all of the following questions into a comment below and answer accordingly. Comments will be placed in a large virtual hat on April 1, 2010, and one winner will be drawn from said hat. Winner will receive either an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas or a free book, whichever makes our accountants happier. Read. Set. Go!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) David Nadora
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 4
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 4
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 19
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2009
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) no. not yet
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) no.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Yes, the triumphant 20th anniversary bathroom reader
• Do you like piña coladas? no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes, on facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) d
• Do these jeans make me look fat? no.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes.
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Sara
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, Quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 27
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1995
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Salad
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? No
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) No
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Yes. Unstoppable Bathroom Reader.
• Do you like piña coladas? No
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Twitter
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) a
• Do these jeans make me look fat? No
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? No
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yes
We have two Chihuahuas.
• What is your name? Dancin’ Dave Williams
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? 6/7 in mine…0 downstairs, lol
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 6/7
• What is your age? older enough to take this census
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? I was about 10
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? BACON!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? Of course!!!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Probably but I missed it so no biggie
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? That’s how I found out about them!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Plunges into Music, I am a DJ after all!
• Do you like piña coladas? No, but you can meet me at bar called O’Malley’s
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? Nope
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? Both of course!!!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? um how about e)Chinchilla
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Um wow the drapes in here really keep that light out huh?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Sorry I’m watching pop-up video and Rupert Holmes is on so, shhhhh!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? You betcha!!!
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Lucy (fur) Wright
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
I own like 10 editions and they are all filed in the upstairs Bathroom
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
10ish
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
27ish
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2008
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Soup it’s the big one
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
mainly children
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
all the time
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
yes yes I would if they had them:-(
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
Plunges in to history II
• Do you like piña coladas?
nope
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Facebook!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)Yorshire Terriers count?
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
not at all
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
It is now thank you very much
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
I did and I will!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Ben (or at least that’s what it says on my underwear)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) However many I take in at the time.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? Lost count at 15… I think.
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 35
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? The same year I got my first Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, of course!
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) No. They choose to wait outside by choice… besides the other bathroom will be free before they can pick the lock (but not before they can pick their… oh, I guess that wasn’t the question.)
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Define “miss”.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) A) I would. B) Depends on the condition of the book.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I can’t decide.
• Do you like piña coladas?
No.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
No.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
Let me get back to you on that.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
No.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
It’s a census. Is it supposed to be enjoyed?
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
– Dave
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
– 3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
– 1 in each
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
– Damned if I know. They’re kind of scattered about.
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
– 30 going on 8
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
– 1991
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
– Soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
– No
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
– Yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
– Only if they are Uncle John’s. Imitators get flushed down the toilet.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
– #3, since it’s the first one I read. The pink tile cover is classic. And it has the complete script for Abbott & Costello’s “Who’s on First?”
• Do you like piña coladas?
– Nope.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
– Yes to both.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
– None of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
– Only on Thursdays. You’re ok the rest of the week.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
– Nope. Thank goodness for Pandora.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
– Yep!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Some call me…Tim
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? Just one. That’s 2 too few!
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 6 or so at any given time.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 8
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) As old as my big toe, and a little older than my teeth.
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? ’96 or so
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon spoon. To eat bacon with anything less is so COMMON.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes, and yes.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Yes and yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes. I wash hands afterwards.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? No one favorite. I love ‘em all.
• Do you like piña coladas? After fighting the urge to complete the lyrics, I must just say no.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Of course!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) N/A
• Do these jeans make me look fat? No, the fat does
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? YES
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Of course!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) GARDNER
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? TWO
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”. ONE EACH (MUSIC DOWNSTAIRS, NATIONAL PARKS IN THE “MASTER SUITE”)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 12 I THINK…BUT I LOANED OUT MY “PLUNGES INTO NJ AND NEVER GOT IT BACK. ARGH!
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 31
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1999?
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? SPORK
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) YEP
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? PROBABLY!
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) YEP!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? PLUNGES INTO NJ. I WANT IT BACK, DAD!
• Do you like piña coladas? I PREFER GETTING CAUGHT IN THE RAIN
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) NOT ANYMORE! I FOUND ME A REAL, ACTUAL GIRL
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) YES, FB
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) NO’S ALL AROUND. HAD 2 TURTLES THOUGH.
• Do these jeans make me look fat? NO, YOUR BUTT DOES.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? NOW IT IS, THANKS
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) BUT OF COURSE! WAY BETTER THAN THE “REAL” ONE
•What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
GEOR, Pony Rider, Rider of the Pony.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
Four!
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
I have all my bathroom readers in one place, but I usually bring them to the bathroom, read them and then leave ‘em there. . .so probably about 1 or 2 in each!
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
Vingt-six! (26).
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
OVER 9000!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2007.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Soup!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
No.
*Lie detector explodes*
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
Probably.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
I am the only person I know who has Bathroom Readers!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
No. They are all good in their own way!
• Do you like piña coladas?
No.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes, on Facebook.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
Sadly, I have none.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
No; have you been drinking SlimFast?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
No, because I do not like pina coladas, I did not listen.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Quite so, chap! And I just might!
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
Officially? 1 [But any corner theoretically would do if I was prone to marking my territory. That would mean I would have to count every room in the house and the three-stall, walled garage and multiply by four. But what if a room was in the shape of a hexagon? Or a dodecagon? Or a Googlegon? (Okay, so I made that one up. Sue me, Google!) Or what if I am unable to multiply--two offspring notwithstanding--since the vasectomy? A free trip to the Bahamas? Didn't Anna Nicole Smith go there to die? (Were her breasts real? Did her *anna*gram really read, "Nah, a silicone mtn."? And did she really bury her elderly husband in the La Brea Tar Pits to perpetuate his petroleum reserves and fortune?) Should I go stand in the corner for my irreverence? Which corner, out of how many?]
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Lord Dicky B the Cromulent.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
2. 3 if you count the dishwasher
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
Not enough
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
All of them are in my home. Where else would I keep them?
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
Old enough to know better, too young to care
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
A few years ago
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Bacon.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
Yup. I don’t have kids but if I did, well that’s what God gave them diapers for.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
Been late to work more than twice, does that count?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Morons never have any lying around.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
The sports one.
• Do you like piña coladas?
nope.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Facebook.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
I have all of them. I don’t have enough barbecue sauce though.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
No. Your fat ass makes you look fat.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Not really. “Hot Hot Hot” by Buster Poindexter is though.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Kinda sorta.
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Deannster or deannie the weannie, but I prefer Dino…
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
3 1/2 bathrooms.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
7 in the master bathroom[use this room the most] 2 in the childrens bathroom, 1 in guest bathroom, and 1/2 book in 1/2 bathroom…
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
12 bathroom readers in all. I just bought one at Barnes & Nobles for half price…
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
41 y/o
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2003 when I recieved a book as a gift. Family knows I like to read on my throne.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Teaspoon…
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
Yes, especially if its the kids bugging me. That is my quiet place to read and contemplate..
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
• Do you like piña coladas?
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Deannster or deannie the weannie, but I prefer Dino…
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
3 1/2 bathrooms.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
7 in the master bathroom[use this room the most] 2 in the childrens bathroom, 1 in guest bathroom, and 1/2 book in 1/2 bathroom…
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
12 bathroom readers in all. I just bought one at Barnes & Nobles for half price…
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
41 y/o
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2003 when I recieved a book as a gift. Family knows I like to read on my throne.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Teaspoon…
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
Yes, especially if its the kids bugging me. That is my quiet place to read and contemplate..
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
In 2007 I missed the Halloween episode of the Simpsons due to the interesting articles in your bathroom reader…
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Yes I do, and I always wash my hands before and after touching someone elses bathroom reader.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
I like the bathroom reader about Texas, and also the one on the Presidents…
• Do you like piña coladas?
Yes I do.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) No, I am divorced and available, but with custody of 4 teenage boys [that's a chick magnet]…
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) I don’t twit or facebook.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
F, damn dog won’t stop barking. I need the python to help shut him up.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
Stick with the mumu’s…
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Yes it is.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Yes I will
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Kevin king of bacon
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
3
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
1
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
not 10
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2008
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
every time I use it
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
nope
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
don’t know any who has one
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
bathroom reader for kids only 2
• Do you like piña coladas?
never tried ‘em
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
never have never will
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
no, because I say so
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
no
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
yes, yes they do
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
now because of you
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
yes and I already did
• What is your name? Ben
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 3 in the house, 1 in the cow
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? None in 2, every single one in mine!
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 30+
• What is your age? 17
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2000
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Soup… duh.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? Yes – brothers, parents, dogs
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? YES – tonight show was missed often cuz of it
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? Yes and no
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Not really
• Do you like piña coladas? nope
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? I MAY have started one of those
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Mana – no.
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)LJ
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 1 at at time
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 8
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 31
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2005
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? salad
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes, wife and son
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) yes, no
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? yes, the one I am currently reading (always)
• Do you like piña coladas? nope
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes yes yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
• Do these jeans make me look fat? yes
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? nope
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes. No, I dont want them entered
• What is your name? Christina
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? one lonely potty
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 2
• What is your age? 29 as of two days ago!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? the ones you use for grapefruit, with the sharp edge
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? yes, my husband
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Missed a ball drop on New Years
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? Of course I read it, but I wash my hands after
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I love them all, I wish I had money to buy more!
• Do you like piña coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? I’m married (so shhhh)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? Facebook!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) I used to live with a chihuahua named “Chicharron”, which means “Pork rinds” in spanish
• Do these jeans make me look fat? girl, you look fab!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Always
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yesh
What is your name? Laura Loverly Limerick
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? One inside…. my young toddler boys seem to feel that there are an endless number in my yard though… ew.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) I don’t actually keep mine in the bathroom… so 0
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 1, I keep buying more… then giving them to other family members
• What is your age? 2
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2001
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? ear spoon, duh.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? All family members- at at least one point- have had to wait for the reader, including a screaming month old child.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? frequently.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? yes I do… and I don’t bother to wash… since i’ll be washing before I leave the bathroom anyway…. and where i’m sitting on the toilet….
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? My favorite is the BIGGEST EVER bathroom reader.
• Do you like piña coladas? not really… coconut just doesn’t seem appetizing… ever.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) NA
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Fan on Facebook, I’m not a tweeter
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) g) Cocker Spaniel h) children i) husband
• Do these jeans make me look fat? yes. but the real question is “do these GENES make me look fat?”
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? naturally
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes!!!
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Professor Toast.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
3
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
18
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
About five years ago, when I received one for Christmas.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Soup spoon.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
No
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
Yes.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Yes and yes.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
Every new edition that comes out becomes my new favourite.
• Do you like piña coladas?
Yes. I also enjoy getting caught in the rain.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
Yes.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes and yes.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
None.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
It frames your curves very nicely.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Yes, unfortunately.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
It was pretty interesting. I may have to promote it.
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Liz
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 5, 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 6
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 18
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1999?? I think
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon soup!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes! My older brother!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Yup, all the time
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Yup, Lengendary Lost, well it is right now
• Do you like piña coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes, both!a
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) A. well he’s mixed
• Do these jeans make me look fat? No, of course not
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Sure is
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yea, it was much more exciting than the U.S. Census
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 12
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 40
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1998
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yes
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Great Big BR
• Do you like piña coladas? yes
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) no
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) no
• Do these jeans make me look fat? no
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? yes…. thanks lol.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Lisa
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
3
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
4
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
30
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
haha, yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
not that i know of
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
can’t pick one
• Do you like piña coladas?
nah
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
yup
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
yup
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Marcus Commodus
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? two
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 8 in one 6 in the other
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 25
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 43
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1992
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Steak
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) My boss.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Super Bowl 34 (well, I wasn’t going to watch it anyway)
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) you betcha, and depends
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? The Dog Owner’s Companion
• Do you like piña coladas? and gettin’ lost in the rain
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Facebook, I don’t Twitter
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) A
• Do these jeans make me look fat? yep, but I like that in jeans
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? all the time
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yep!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Fruitcake
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? Just 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 20? Maybe more… I haven’t counted lately.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 20+ (see above)
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) Wow, what a coincidence, I’m also 12!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1988
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Spork
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Many, many times.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Been late to work more than once, does that count?
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes, and yes.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? They are all terrific!
• Do you like piña coladas? yes
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) no
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes, on Facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) G: none of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat? no
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? yes
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes, and sure, why not?
Please cut and paste any or all of the following questions into a comment below and answer accordingly. Comments will be placed in a large virtual hat on April 1, 2010, and one winner will be drawn from said hat. Winner will receive either an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas or a free book, whichever makes our accountants happier. Read. Set. Go!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Uh, my name is John. Kind of appropriate I reckon.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
I have two bathrooms inside my mobile home… but sometimes also utilize behind my shed if my shoes are muddy- no. 1 only.
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
All my bathroom readers are in the men’s restroom. My wife’s restroom doesn’t include bathroom readers. I try to avoid that place.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
Four.
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
40
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
about 1987. My Dad was a fan.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
soup… the handle even helps with the ears.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
On my throne right now
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
I’ve missed them even when they were playing b/c I was paying more attention to my book rather than the tele
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Absolutely Not. I don’t use other people’s restrooms, and if I am forced to in a bind then I usually have my own stash of reading materials.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
I like the compilations best.
• Do you like piña coladas?
Yup.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes, On facebook. B/C I want to keep up with my bathroom reading- no matter where I’m sitting (thanks to wi-fi)
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
I guess I’m a bulldog (go Georgia!) Shepherd mix.
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
guys don’t look at other guys guts… sorry buddy. Wrong restroom.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Are you psychic or something? Wow!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Yeah, except I think I used the last page for another purpose… got a spare? LOL
• Do you like piña coladas? Yes and getting caught in the rain… The Great Rupert Holmes…This song should be immortalized by Uncle John.
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) – SportsCynts
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? – 2 1/2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) – I have 4 books, but they’re only in my bathroom, because it’s the only one that is approved for reading time – the others have a 3 minute time limit (Hey I have to clean them so I don’t want guess spending too much time in them)
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? – 6
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) – A proud 42!!!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? – 2006
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? – egg
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) – Yes…my son and my mom!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? – LOL yes, I hate stopping in the middle of a story, so I don’t!
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) – No. Some people I visit aren’t as enlightened as I am to the BR books (or they keep them in their master bathroom where I don’t have access, like I do at my home)
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? – 18th Edition: Uncle John’s Fact-Acting Long-Lasting Bathreeom Reader! I love saying it.
• Do you like piña coladas? I don’t like pina coladas, but I like getting caught in the rain. I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne. I’d like to win this book by April Fool’s at noon. So cut through all the red tape. I’m the fan that you’ve looked for, I need this book to escape!
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) No.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) No, but I have 2 collies and my best friend has a chihuahua.
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Noooooo not at all!!! As as matter of fact, you make those jeans look like they cost more than what you paid for!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Yes it is!!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) You know it homey!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Donna
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) Hall Bath- 10, Master- 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 12
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) It’s the second anniversary of my 25th birthday.
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Bacon, the answer is always bacon.
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yep, I must finish the story I’m reading.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? I dunno, It hurts to stay too long, so probably not.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes, I have.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I don’t like to play favorites.
• Do you like piña coladas? Not really, now ask me if I like getting caught in the rain…
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) On FB.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) Nope.
• Do these jeans make me look fat? I dunno, ask my husband, although I don’t think you’ll get a straight answer out of him. I never do.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Gotta love Jimmy Buffett!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yes, it was rather entertaining.
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Tammy
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) At least 3
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 7, I think
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 35
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? I think it was 2006.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? sou….did someone say BACON???? nom nom….
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) ALL THE TIME!!!!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Nah, I just take it OUT of the bathroom…
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) I do!
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? I personally like the one with the two covers and all of the pages inside.
• Do you like piña coladas? Nope, alergic to coconut
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) ;-P
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) I have none of those!
• Do these jeans make me look fat? They really don’t. Very slimming….
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? Nope.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Prolly..
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) shorty
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 2
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 30
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 90
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? no
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) no i don’t know anybody else that reads them
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? i have so many
• Do you like piña coladas? no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) no to all
• Do these jeans make me look fat? no
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
- Stacy
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
- 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
- bathroom upstairs 0, bathroom downstairs 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
- 8
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
-23 (no need to lie, yet…)
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
- 2000
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
- bacon….
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
- yep, once or twice…
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
- sadly, yes….
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
- sadly my friends don’t share my love of randomness..
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
- Book of Love <3
• Do you like piña coladas?
- not really.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
-…..
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
- fan on Facebook!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered "e," did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
- none of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
- not at all
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
- YES!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John's Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
- it was the highlight of my day! lol!
What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Mark Schiroo
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 2 that way when i finish one i have a spare to go to.
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?14
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 33
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1992
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? soup
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes, to many times to count
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? yes, again to many times to count
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) of course, especially if it is one that i havent read yet.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? no, they are all my favorite
• Do you like piña coladas? no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) facebook
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) no pets
• Do these jeans make me look fat? not at all, they make your butt look awesome
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
yes, and yes
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Messy Jessie the movie queen
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
just one in the house-and one and a half in the cow
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
in the house bathroom, we have 11!…in the cow, there is 2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
about 15…I can’t wait for the next one!
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
the big flirty thirty!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
Ummm, I wanna say it was around 2004
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
spork!!!!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
i have no children : (…I make my hubby wait all the time! I take longer baths when I’m reading my BR because I can’t put it down!
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
Yes, and that’s why I got DVR
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Yes, and sometimes I steal them
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
I am a movie nut, so I really like the Hollywood one. make another one of those, it was great!
• Do you like piña coladas?
They give me a tummy ache if I drink too many of them : (
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
LOL nope, I’m married, and not on the look for some on the side action
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes I am!!! And, I gotta say, you are actually the only non-friend that I have not omitted from my news feed!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
I have a cat named Stevie
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
Yes, yes they do
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
no, but it is NOW!!!!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
Heck yes I will!!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.)
Joe Jaffa
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow?
4
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.)
2
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total?
12
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.)
18
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
I was 12, so 2003
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon?
Rice spoon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.)
No. But with me being away at college next year and sharing a bathroom with more people, it’ll probably happen.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event?
Nope. I time my bathroom reading so it doesn’t interfere.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?)
Yes and yes.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one?
Don’t make me choose. That’s too hard of a question.
• Do you like piña coladas?
Yes. Unfortunatly, being under 21, I can’t drink them.
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?)
Yes and yes.
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?)
a)No
b)No
c)No
d)No
e)No
f)No
• Do these jeans make me look fat?
No, not at all!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head?
Yes.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!)
I very much enjoyed it, and I will pass it on to my friends!
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Arther Dent
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 1
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 6 million
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 7 billion
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) 38
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 1776
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? no
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) Yes
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? no
• Do you like piña coladas? eww, no
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) yes, both
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) no
• Do these jeans make me look fat? yes
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? no
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) yes, yes
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Ron
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 3
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) OLD
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? 2000
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? Mixing
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) Yes, Often
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Yes
• Do you like piña coladas? No
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) Yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) None of the above
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Of Course………Not!!
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? It is now, Thanks!!
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yes
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) ~ Dishey Girl
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? ~ 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) ~ 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? ~ 3
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) ~ 35
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? ~ 2005 or 2006 (I think)
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? ~ bacon
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) ~ Not yet…but it will happen.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? ~ yes, sleep
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) ~ Yes, and no, but definetly after.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? ~ not yet, I love all the ones I have.
• Do you like piña coladas? ~ they’re ok
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.) ~ nope
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) ~ Yes
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) ~ A
• Do these jeans make me look fat? ~ only from the backside
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? ~ No. Nice try.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome!) Yes and maybe
• What is your name? (Made up names like “Thunder Pants” or “Larry, Lord of Mattresses” are okay.) Mike the magnificant
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2+1(trailer)
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 1
• What is your age? (It’s okay to lie. Uncle John does it all the time. He’s 12.) i still feel 18
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? this one
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? cereal
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? (Bonuses apply if it was your own children.) yes…both the wife and dog
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? bed time
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? (Did you wash your hands first?) haven’t found any
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? #14
• Do you like piña coladas? nah…too sweet
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? (Answer only if you answered “Yes” to previous question.)
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? (If not, why? why? why do you hurt us so?) how about rss feeds
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? (If you answered “e,” did you buy the python at a pet shop or did it just appear in your toilet one day?) how about a german doberman (actually papa was from argentina)
• Do these jeans make me look fat? of course not
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? try this one…CSN southern cross..
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? (Awesome
ya man,,,
What is your name? kev3in. The 3 is silent.
• How many bathrooms do you have in your house, apartment, mobile home, igloo, quonset hut, burrow, or large plastic cow? 2
• How many Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers do you have in each bathroom? (Penalties apply for each answer less than “1”.) 22, 1
• How many Bathroom Readers do you have in your home in total? 23
• What is your age? 54
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader? Seems like forever, can’t recall.
• What is your favorite type of spoon: soup, salad, egg, ear, or bacon? bacon!
• Have you ever made someone wait to get in the bathroom because you were reading a Bathroom Reader? Yes, but it was my wife’s kid.
• Has reading a Bathroom Reader ever caused you to miss a television program or other important event? Not all of it, anyway.
• Do you read Bathroom Readers you find in other peoples’ bathrooms? No, usuallly I already have it, and yes.
• Do you have a favorite Bathroom Reader? If so, which one? Pluinges into music, I think, but they’re all great.
• Do you like piña coladas? Yes!
• Do you subscribe to an online dating service? No.
• Are you a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader on either Facebook or Twitter? Yes!
• Ethnic question: Do you have an a) German shepherd; b) African gray parrot; c) English bulldog; d) Siamese cat; e) Burmese python; f) chihuahua? g) none
• Do these jeans make me look fat? Oh, I wouldn’t say that. I know better. Now.
• Is the song “If You Like Piña Coladas” stuck in your head? No! I’ve foiled your evil paln.
• Did you enjoy filling out this Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader 2010 Census form, and will you send it to all your friends to ask them to do it, too? Why, certainly!
• What year did you first become a fan of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader?
We have been reading the BR since 1989. Now even my grand children read the BR.